Husband Refuses To Give Money To His Wife's 'Poor' Family After They Mocked Him For Starting His Own Business That Is Now Successful
If they made fun of him while he was struggling, why should he help them now that he's thriving?
Andrii Iemelianenko | Shutterstock Family dynamics are hard enough on their own but become even more complicated when money is involved.
One man found himself the subject of ridicule from his wife’s extended family while struggling to find his footing with his new business, only for them to change their tune when he found success. Now, they have their hands out for help, and he is worried that saying no is the wrong decision.
A husband asked if he was in the wrong after saying 'no' to helping his wife’s family financially.
“My … wife … grew up in a fairly poor environment,” he explained. In spite of this, his wife did all she could to make sure she set herself up for success. “My wife has an incredibly strong work ethic (she’s probably more so defined as a workaholic),” he said. “When I first met her, I was in trucking, making about $50,000-$70,000 [a] year.”
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The husband started his own business and was mocked by his wife's family until he became successful.
“Since then I developed a niche for a specialty marketing field and became very good at it,” he continued. “All my friends encouraged me to go into business for myself with a marketing company.”
He described his wife as “fully supportive” of this decision, although it meant they did have some financial difficulties while getting the business off the ground. “Her family, however, were not,” he stated. “They accused me of neglecting my family, being lazy, not wanting to work, etc.”
Circumstances have changed for this man as of late, though. “In the last year, however, I have grown my income from my business beyond what I was making in trucking, and have very little overhead,” he said.
His wife’s family, who used to berate him, admire his new status as a wealthy businessman.
“Her family has taken note, and they are constantly asking to go out to eat with us, hang out with us, etc., then get mad when I never pay for the meals, the outing, the vacation, etc. (aside from my part of the tab obviously),” he shared.
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He was quick to clarify that he does not prevent his wife from helping her family as she sees fit. “I let my wife do whatever she wants with her money (which sometimes includes buying stuff for her family, which I support her doing with her money if that’s how she wants to spend it) but I make sure that she knows I don’t want a dime of my money going to her family since they were very unsupportive of what made us our money and would go as far as to talk down about me for doing what lead to our money,” he stated.
In response to a comment on the post, he also said that his wife has no problem with this.“My wife is definitely happy,” he said. “She is content with our arrangement and has never complained about it, but recently her family has been putting pressure on her to make me ‘loosen up’ and be part of the family more.”
While giving money to family is a nice gesture, it can become complicated.
Western Union noted that giving family members money is an extraordinarily kind thing to do and is usually very much appreciated. However, it can also lead to problems. “If you gift money regularly, family members may come to expect that money regularly, and it could do more harm than good when you stop,” they said.
Furthermore, they added, “It’s ultimately your decision whether you give money to family members, as well as how often and how much. If you feel that there could be negative impacts on your relationships, tread carefully.”
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Ultimately, this man is under no obligation to give money to his wife’s family. The choice is his, and it’s as simple as that. And, with how they’ve treated him, few could blame him if he’s reluctant to do so.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.