Husband Cuts Off His Parents After They Argued That His Pregnant Wife Is Just 'Carrying' His Baby & Has No Say In The Name
He told his parents that if they can't respect his pregnant wife then they have no business being around for the birth of their grandchild.
ChameleonsEye | Shutterstock A husband admitted that he had no qualms about putting his parents in their place after they acted disrespectfully toward his pregnant wife and, by extension, him as well.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITAH, the 32-year-old dad-to-be revealed that his parents have been acting irrationally when it comes to the decisions that he and his wife have been making for their baby.
His parents argued that his pregnant wife was simply 'carrying' his baby and had no input in regard to the baby's name.
In his Reddit post, he explained that for the past eight years, he's been slowly distancing himself from his parents. He's noticed that his mom has a "weird obsession" with hating his wife and speaking badly about her, while his dad is just the type of man to always take his wife's side, even when she is wrong. Because of this mix, both of his parents have harbored resentment toward his wife since they met.
About a month ago, he announced to his parents that he and his wife were having a baby, and since then, the two of them have been incredibly pushy about it, especially when it comes to the unborn baby's name.
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"My wife’s mom passed away, so if it’s a girl, we are naming her mom's first name; if it’s a boy, we’re going to use her mom's middle name since it’s gender-neutral. "
"This was always something that was important to her; she was extremely close with her mom and has always wanted to honor her like this," he shared. He personally had no problem with it and thought the entire sentiment was beautiful.
Their child's middle name, regardless of the gender, was going to be the name of the place where they first met.
When he told his parents their plan, they immediately started fussing and making a big deal about it. His dad even said the words, "It's our son's baby. She's just carrying it," which made him angry beyond words.
"It’s her baby she’s carrying too. I told them to give it a rest; my mom spent the entire night trying to guilt us into adding her name or my dad's," he continued.
It's understandable that he believes his parents have overstepped, especially when it comes to the baby's name.
That decision is between him and his wife, and they've agreed upon a name that holds significance for them.
It's clear that his parents are struggling to be supportive in-laws, and it's commendable that instead of giving in to their pressures and letting them walk all over his marriage, he's standing up for his wife and defending the choices they've made throughout the pregnancy.
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As grandparents, their role is to be supportive and spend time with their grandchildren, not to try to insert themselves into their son and his wife's business.
He ended up cutting off contact with them until their behavior changed.
A few days after the name debacle, his parents came over and stressed the importance that they be allowed in the room while his wife was giving birth.
He told them no since he and his wife previously agreed that she just wanted him in the room and no one else.
That didn't go over well with his parents. His mom argued that she should be the first person to see her grandchild being born, while his dad accused his wife of being "selfish."
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He told them both that it was his wife's decision because it was her body, and if she didn't want anyone else in the room, then she had every right to make that rule.
"By the time the conversation ended, I told them to leave and not come back until they want to respect my wife," he wrote. "I kicked them out, and for right now, they are not able to contact us, as I blocked them from everything. Before blocking them I sent a message telling them to not contact her, not step foot on my property, and stay away from the hospital when the time comes."
Unfortunately, sometimes, cutting ties doesn't offer a resolution that can heal the family. According to research from 2021, 80% of mothers estranged from their adult children believed that an ex-husband or their son- or daughter-in-law had turned their children against them.
Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, lead author of the study and professor of psychology at The Ohio State University, explained, “There’s a real disconnect between what the mothers are saying and what their adult children are saying about why they aren’t talking.”
The soon-to-be-dad pointed out that if his parents use this time away to self-reflect and come back with a better attitude, he'll have no problem allowing them back into their lives, but he doesn't want to stress out his pregnant wife during a really joyful and sacred experience. And while he's absolutely right to support his wife, chances are this estrangement will only create a larger divide between his wife and his parents.
Above all else, his wife's feelings should come first, especially if it's at the hands of his parents being rude and not respecting boundaries. The birth of their child should be a special day and not ruined by anyone's toxic and manipulative comments or behavior.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.