Mom Bans Grandma From Seeing Her Son After She 'Tricked' The Toddler Into Thinking She's His Real Mother
The poor boy will only grow up confused.
Dragana Gordic / Shutterstock There are no perfect parents — or grandparents — but certain behaviors are outright unacceptable.
After one mom began dealing with health complications that inhibited her from caring for her son properly, her mother stepped in to look after him. When the mom was finally able to take her son back in, she was stunned when she heard him call his grandma "mommy."
The mom banned her mother from seeing her son after discovering she intentionally convinced the boy she was his real mom.
The mom took to Reddit to get feedback on her situation. In the AITA post, she explained that her 3-year-old son spent the last year living with his grandma. She claimed she was dealing with intense health problems and wasn’t fit to take care of him, so her mother stepped in to help while she recovered.
She spoke to him via FaceTime whenever she could, but to protect him from any confusion seeing her in her condition, she and her mom decided it’d be best for him not to visit her.
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Last month, the mom felt well enough to resume her parental duties. She went to her mother’s house, and her son was delighted to see her. As they chatted, the mom was confused after her son called his grandma “mommy.” She initially thought it was a mistake and asked her mom if she noticed.
“She laughed nervously and said that he had been calling her that for a while,” the mom wrote. “She basically explained that while I was away, she told him that she was his mom and to call her that. I laughed and told her that I wasn't comfortable with that since she wasn't the one who birthed him.”
The matter erupted into an intense argument, leading the mom to prohibit her mother from seeing her son again.
The mom disapproved of her mother’s actions and insisted that her son be told the truth.
The grandma argued against this, justifying her decision to role-play his mom by arguing that he needed a mother figure while his real mom was away.
The mom was disturbed by this logic and expressed disdain for her mother’s poor choice.
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“She said something along the lines of, ‘I've been his mother for a year now, and you can't change it.’ We went back and forth until it got to the point where we started raising our voices,” the mom explained. “She spat out some insults about me being a bad mom for being away for so long and how she should be his mom 'cause he doesn't need a mom like me.”
This triggered the mom further, and she ultimately decided she and her son would be better off without Grandma. She packed up his things and stormed out of her mother’s house.
Reddit users argued that the woman’s mother displayed manipulative behaviors to feed her selfish desires.
“This lady is trying to isolate the son from his real mom. You could argue she was trying to kidnap him and make him her child. I don’t think that’s a safe situation for the son to be in,” one individual stated in the comments.
Other Reddit users theorized that the mom was potentially an addict, which is why she could not care for her son. While some reasoned that she may have taken the time to go to rehab and overcome this, others accused her of abandoning her son and defended the grandma’s actions. In response to these speculative comments, the mom edited her post to explain she was battling serious physical health concerns.
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Regardless of her reasons for stepping away, other Redditers pointed out how it’s no one’s place to pass judgment on circumstances they know nothing about, and the mom has the right to privacy.
“This mom was doing what she needed to do to get healthy for herself and for her son,” someone argued in the comments. “Her mother took advantage of that situation, and it is unacceptable for her to have actively encouraged her grandson to call her Mommy. I can’t even imagine how heartbreaking that would be!!”
The grandma essentially fed her grandson a delusion, which will only cause him to grow up confused about the truth.
It was certainly honorable of the grandma to care for her daughter’s son while she was recovering from her health issues, which is more than other parents would be willing to do. Still, it’s quite unusual for her to have taken it upon herself to confuse the boy about who his real mom is. It begs the question about her intentions when she agreed to help care for him.
Some Reddit users argued that the mom’s decision to cut the grandma off may have been ill-tempered, as she is his only other caretaker and still an important figure in her son’s life. They inferred that perhaps her son calling his grandma ‘mommy’ may have been a misconception, an often occurrence for young kids.
On the other hand, many others asserted that the mom has reason to question her son's safety at the hands of someone posing as his mom. “Toddlers don't just pull ‘Mommy’ out of nowhere. Someone taught it to him,” one person pointed out.
“Her mother flat out told her son to call her ‘mommy,’ which is… the biggest issue here in regards to him referring to her that way,” another person mentioned. “OP’s mom actively tried to usurp her daughter’s place as a mother while she was in the midst of a health crisis.”
Nonetheless, many Reddit users suggested the mom take her son to therapy to navigate the situation.
The mom has recognized her flawed choices and shared her unmoving stance on protecting her son at all costs.
In an updated post, the mom expressed gratitude for all the feedback, both positive and negative, which has allowed her to observe the situation with more clarity, and she shared that she has begun taking her son to therapy and letting him speak with his grandma on Facetime daily to consider his emotional needs. She additionally shared that her health has continued to improve slowly, and she only needs to visit her doctor several times a month.
She further addressed her son's ongoing confusion after a year of misinformation from his grandma, but she is working to teach him the truth. She will continue to take the necessary steps to undo the emotional damage his grandma caused him as he unlearns what she brainwashed him to believe.
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“He knows I'm his mother but essentially thinks he has two moms. I've done my very best to go slow with him and teach him who is his mom and who is his grandmother,” she stated in the post.
While she hoped for a different outcome, after her mother attempted to break into her home and kidnap her son in the middle of the night, she decided to go to court, wholeheartedly believing his grandma would no longer need to be in their lives.
Considering the grandma’s malicious intentions to steal her place as his mom and unwavering belief that her actions were justifiable, going as far as to try and take her son from her, it’s clear that the grandma is unwell, and the mom’s decision to cut her off is warranted.
While this decision will likely affect her son emotionally, sometimes, a mom must do what she must.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.