11 Forgotten Life Skills Gen X Parents Didn't Pass Down To Their Kids
Some Gen X parents don't want to teach their kids these basic skills.
fizkes | Shutterstock Despite being committed to learning how to effectively parent and safeguard their children, according to an Echo Delta survey, many Gen X parents are struggling to separate their childhood experiences from their current families. From finding ways to cope with their children's independence to navigating the emerging digital landscape, there are certain forgotten life skills Gen X parents didn't pass down to their kids.
Of course, many of these skills are not intentionally being left out of Gen Xer's parenting toolkits, they're simply forgotten and subtly replaced with other lessons. It's a result of adults' dwindling free-time, tendency toward overworking in their professional lives, and the chaos of balancing their children's growing extracurricular schedules.
Here are 11 forgotten life skills Gen X parents didn’t pass down to their kids
1. The power of unsupervised play
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Despite having endless time to themselves to walk to school, play with their friends outside, and engage in unsupervised play, many Gen Xers have chosen not to provide the same experience for their own kids. Plagued by the anxiety of unrestricted access to social media and news stories, many Gen X parents are taking a more overprotective and overbearing approach to parents as a means to self-soothe at home.
Even navigating sleepovers away from parents has become one of the forgotten life skills Gen X parents didn't pass down to their kids, concerned with valid safety concerns and their intrinsic desire to supervise their kids' activities. Gen X parents' own childhood experiences, amid absentee parenting and single-parent households, provided them the ability to experiment with independence and grow life skills navigating the world alone that many younger kids today don't have at the same stage in their lives.
Despite research, like a study from University College London that suggests kids engaging in unsupervised play are generally more confident, competent, and social, many Gen Xers aren't willing to offer up the same opportunity they had as children to get into trouble or navigate the world alone.
2. Communicating during family check-ins
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According to a 2004 marketing study conducted by Reach Advisors, Gen X kids "went through its all-important, formative years as one of the least parented, least nurtured generations in U.S. history."
Especially considering Gen X's parentification amid changing family norms, away from nuclear families towards and toward more single-parent households, many weren't given the emotional support needed to learn emotional intelligence, open communication, and vulnerability until much later in life.
When they started their own families and raised their own children, emotional intelligence became one of the forgotten life skills Gen X parents didn't pass down to their kids. Oftentimes, this wasn't a deliberate choice, but rather, a condition of growing up in an environment where they were forced into independence and responsibility from a much earlier age than other age groups.
3. Budgeting with cash
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Despite growing up in households where their parents were responsible with and accountable for their financial situation, many younger generations of kids with Gen X parents weren't taught the same financial literacy skills. Often fueled by the stigmas around talking about money, the art of financial literacy and budgeting is one of the forgotten life skills Gen X parents didn't pass down to their kids.
From balancing a checkbook, to budgeting more effectively with cash, and responsibly using credit cards, many younger generations with Gen X parents have fallen behind on properly managing their money — not just because they weren't taught in school, but because they weren't taught by their parents.
4. Navigating without a phone
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While surveys from Ordnance suggest that 70% of Gen Zers are confident in their ability to read a map, the majority of them are consistently using their phones and GPS systems to get around.
Compared to their Gen X parents, one of the last generations to grow up without phone accessibility or Google Maps, they rely on their phones for many daily tasks and activities — from communicating with friends, to doing their homework, and driving.
Especially without learning the basic life skills many Gen X kids learned through unsupervised play — roaming around their towns and communities without phones — younger generations are missing out on the ability to navigate, communicate, and find their way without technological accessibility and Internet access.
5. Self-soothing techniques
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Many Gen X kids were parentified early growing up, forced to suppress their emotions and navigate life independently, according to career and workplace expert Lindsey Pollak, causing them to place intrinsic value in self-reliance. However, this same independence isn't necessarily cultivated in their overprotective parenting styles now, as their kids forgo learning about emotional regulation and self-soothing behaviors.
Many younger generations of kids and young adults today are hyper-focused on external validation and praise, sometimes as a result of their overbearing Gen X parents, who set unrealistically high expectations and embraced a "perfectionist" mindset.
In their own adult lives, Gen Xers may be more prone to stress and emotional outbursts, both at home and in their professional lives, having grown up expected to care for themselves independently in single-parent households without seeking help.
6. Fixing plumbing issues
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Especially today, when so many people are struggling to balance time, money, and energy struggles, it practically makes more sense to hire someone to fix basic issues like plumbing or car troubles than to try doing it yourself. While it might be relatively easy to do yourself, many younger generations like Gen Z never learned how — relying on their parents or service workers to resolve issues without challenge.
While Gen X kids at the same age might have been more motivated to learn these practical skills, especially if it meant bonding time with parents or their intrinsic sense of independence, they're less motivated now to teach their own kids, struggling with finding time amid their professional careers and the increasing responsibilities of kids with full schedules.
7. Sewing
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Considering home economics classes were phasing out when Gen Xers were in school, it's not entirely unsurprising that it's becoming one of the forgotten life skills Gen X parents didn't pass down to their kids. Even if their own parents were sewing them clothes or re-imagining hand-me-downs from siblings, the ease of fast fashion in their adult lives has made purchasing clothes — whether online or at retail stores — much easier for Gen Xers without the freedom of time in their chaotic routines.
As a victim of "hustle culture," especially in their professional lives, Gen X parents are much less concerned with teaching their kids about mindfulness and intentional hobbies. It's not because they don't see the value, but because they don't have the time, even to engage in them themselves.
While it may be in their best interest to save time in the present moment by avoiding hobbies like sewing, many crafty individuals who have picked up the habit suggest it can actually end up saving you both time and money over time, encouraging kids to fix, rather than replace, in our endlessly consumerist culture.
8. Doing laundry and ironing clothes
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There's plenty of laundry horror stories on social media that illuminate the forgotten life skill of properly caring for clothes, especially in younger generations. Whether it's ironing, using a steamer, or navigating a laundromat, young adults are struggling, with a survey conducted by OnePoll suggesting that over two-thirds "dread" doing their laundry.
In the era of overprotective parents, it's not just unsupervised play and sleepovers being removed from children's lives, it's also teaching moments around seemingly basic skills like laundry.
Many Gen X and elder millennial parents prefer to channel their independence and do these basic tasks themselves, rather than take the time, which is already running low, to teach their kids to do it themselves.
9. How to navigate in-person conflict
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Without learning how to properly communicate and engage in conflict in-person, many younger generations of young adults are falling into bad habits like "ghosting" to avoid confrontation completely, overwhelmed by expectations and the stress of communication. Especially for those with Gen X parents, who often struggled to learn communicative skills in their own childhood households, this spiral of people-pleasing and fears of confrontation continues.
Even over the phone, many children with Gen X parents struggle to connect with people and resolve conflicts, never having learned phone etiquette skills. A survey from BankMyCell even suggests that 75% of Gen Zers argue phone calls "take too much time," preferring to use text messages and less direct modes of communication to compensate for their phone anxiety.
Without learning how to have healthy arguments and conflicts with their parents early in life, resolving conflicts quickly becomes one of the forgotten life skills Gen X parents didn't pass down to their kids, contributing to the isolation and resentment they experience later in life.
10. Managing rejection
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While their Gen X parents might have been more independent and self-reliant in mediating the consequences of rejection growing up, their children struggle to cope with the uncomfortable feelings associated with this experience.
Influenced by the rise of overbearing and overprotective parents — constantly compensating for their life struggles, situations, and uncomfortable emotions — many adult children realize this lacking life skill in many areas of their lives, from dating new people, to working with peers in an office, to making new friends.
According to experts from the Scientific Advisory Board, our fear of rejection often stems from childhood experiences, with parents or traumas that encouraged us to tie our feelings of self-worth to external validation and praise. For overprotective parents who set high standards and expectations, their children may be more susceptible to struggling with rejection, having grown up constantly seeking their positive attention, love, and respect.
11. Spotting fake news
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Considering many younger generations are primarily getting their news from social media platforms like TikTok, it's not surprising that many of them have more trouble with recognizing misleading or fake news compared to older generations like their Gen X parents who primarily rely on traditional media with more regulated checks and balances.
Without the experience of growing up with phone accessibility and social media themselves, many Gen X parents struggle to teach their kids about digital literacy, despite being collectively overprotective and concerned with safety.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.