Father Refuses To Pay Daughter's College Tuition After She Wanted To Take A Semester Off To Grieve Her Friend
He claimed that the loss of her friend wasn't a good enough reason to take time off from school.
Nikodash | Shutterstock A dad admitted that if his 22-year-old daughter didn't choose to return to college for personal reasons, he would cease paying for her education.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITA, the 49-year-old father of four caused a bit of backlash after threatening to withhold tuition if his daughter didn't return to college next semester.
He refuses to pay his daughter's college tuition if she takes a semester off to grieve her friend.
In his Reddit post, he explained that his daughter, Amy, has always been a very good and productive student, but sometimes, she slacks off on her work and falls a bit behind in school. Despite how she handled her schoolwork in high school, she ended up getting accepted to a well-respected school, which made him and his wife extremely proud.
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"She received some [financial] aid, and we said we would cover the rest of her tuition fees," he recalled. During her time in school last year, she mentioned to her dad that she was struggling with the coursework. He encouraged Amy to "work harder," but her grades were suffering.
Amy explained that one of her college friends introduced her to another guy at their school named Jack, who was a few years older than her and had graduated with top marks. She decided to go to Jack for tutoring, and it seemed to work.
However, things took quite a turn in Amy's life after Jack passed away suddenly.
He told his daughter there was 'zero reason' for her to take time away from school.
The two had gotten quite close over the year they were hanging out and studying. At one point, Amy's dad recalled that she told him they were "seeing each other" romantically. The two of them had even talked about moving in together.
"Amy has understandably been a little upset, and me and my wife have tried our best to comfort her. The issue that's come up now is that Amy said she's going to take this semester off to 'cope,'" he continued. "I was very surprised by this and don't think this is a good idea, as she'll fall behind, which might cause problems later. Amy is insistent with this."
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While discussing his daughter's decision with his wife and Amy's stepmother, he claimed that if she took time off, he would no longer pay for her college tuition, which understandably displeased his daughter.
To imply that his daughter's grief over the death of a close friend is not a good reason to take time off from school is a bit unfair.
First of all, she's only 22, and at that age, the death of a friend, or in this case a boyfriend, is unfathomable. Life is just beginning, after all. Having to cope with the feelings of loss means her mind won't be on schoolwork.
According to a study from 2021, 37% to 44% of college students are actively grieving the loss of a loved one within the first 2 years of school.
An earlier study from 2001 found that actively grieving college students are not able to cope with loss primarily because the higher education environment is not "conducive for recovery after a loss." In plain speak, being at college and grieving is next to impossible. The implication is that without a break or intervention from outside, college kids will suffer both emotionally and academically.
In this context, taking a semester off seems like a mature and wise decision.
Everyone deserves time to cycle through the emotions of grief.
To be frank, Amy's dad is being a bit unreasonable by assuming that his daughter can just continue her college journey without a hitch despite going through something as monumental as what she's experiencing now.
"She got mad, but I told her that she can't take time off for virtually zero reason and expect everything to go her way. My wife agrees with this but my second daughter is also saying that this isn't right," he concluded.
At the end of the day, he should at least consider where his daughter is coming from. It's not as if she won't eventually return to college once she starts feeling motivated again. College will always be there waiting for her, and she won't ever be too old to graduate and get her degree if that's something she wants.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.