A Day In The Life Of A Struggling Stay-At-Home Mom Living With Her 'Irresponsible' Ex, The Father Of Her Kids, Who Never Cleans
Just because a father is physically present does not mean that he is much of a dad.
Yuganov Konstantin / Shutterstock Just because a child's father is physically present in their life, or even around the house, does not mean that they are fulfilling their fatherly duties. Unfortunately, this often means that the mothers are left to pick up the slack and do everything themselves, from childcare to cleaning and cooking.
One woman shared a series of videos on social media that depicted her usual routine as a single mother living with her children and their father, whom she refers to as just a roommate at this point.
The struggling stay-at-home mom revealed what most of her days look like with an ‘irresponsible’ baby daddy.
Cassidy works tirelessly to take care of her two young children, all while her ex-boyfriend and father of her kids, makes no effort to lend a helping hand. Although the two are separated, they are forced to remain living together due to their lease restrictions.
Cassidy often documents her motherhood journey through "day in my life" videos on her TikTok account, which has over 86,000 followers.
Her usual day-to-day consists of caring for her children, feeding them, bathing them, and entertaining them, all while staying on top of the dishes and constantly vacuuming the floors. While she claims that her ex-boyfriend has a job working for her grandfather, when he is home, he is mostly seen sprawled out on the couch watching television while she is forced to tidy up around him.
One particular video demonstrated how Cassidy gets through a typical day without the help of her baby daddy.
The morning started with her waking up and cuddling with her children, both of whom sleep in her bed while her ex sleeps on the couch. She noted that while they do have a second bedroom, her ex prefers not to use it.
Cassidy then prepared breakfast for herself and her children. She set them up in front of the television while she caught up on some housework.
Her ex usually leaves at 6 a.m. to get to work at a roofing company; however, on this particular day, he did not have to get there until later. While he slept in, Cassidy cleaned.
She shared that because she had been sick for two days, her house was particularly messy. The kitchen required a deep clean, and she had two days' worth of unwashed dishes to do, yet her ex still did not help.
“No he does not clean; will not clean,” she wrote on the video. “It is what it is. My kids still deserve a clean house.”
Later after her ex returned home from work, Cassidy fixed up dinner for her children and took a quick shower. Afterward, she vacuumed the living room and organized the children’s play area while her ex was mesmerized by the television.
Cassidy compared her current living situation with her ex to that of living with a roommate whom you do not particularly like, but simply just co-exist with them.
“I try not to bother him and he doesn’t bother me,” she said.
Clearly, just because the two still live under the same roof with their children, does not mean that Cassidy gets the support and help she needs from her children’s father, who often just appears as a background character, tossing the occasional toy at his kids to play with while his ex does all the heavy lifting.
Not only does Cassidy’s ex refuse to help out with the children, but she also claims that he is extremely irresponsible in his own right.
A few weeks ago, he decided out of the blue that he was going to quit his job, despite Cassidy reminding him that they had bills to pay. Eventually, he took a job working for her grandfather’s roofing company, but not before he crashed a car that he and his ex leased.
Of course, Cassidy was left taking care of the towing and damage expenses after months of reminding her ex that he had to get insurance on the vehicle.
After the accident when Cassidy asked him why he never got car insurance, he replied “Now is not the time.”
“When is the time, then!?” she wondered aloud.
She added that living with her ex was especially difficult since she is legally blind and cannot drive herself away even for a few hours.
Cassidy’s situation is unfortunately one that many mothers with useless partners are all too familiar with.
A study conducted by Ohio State University as part of their “New Parents Project” found that before having children, heterosexual couples both spent 15 hours a week doing housework. However, after having children, it was the women who did more around the house, maintaining 15 hours a week, plus 22 hours spent on childcare, even if they had a full-time job.
Conversely, men spent an average of 10 hours doing housework and 14 hours of childcare, even though they also became a parent.
Even when both parents are in their children’s lives, many women feel like they are doing it all solo.
To break this habit and challenge traditional gender roles, more fathers need to start being more involved with their children, whether it be cooking them breakfast before work, sitting on the floor to play with them for a few hours, or putting them to bed to give their hard-working mothers a break.
Even though society may believe that childcare is primarily a woman’s job, we must remember that it takes two to make children. Therefore, the responsibilities should be fairly divided between the two people. The division of housework and childcare is a conversation that ideally should happen before any kids enter this world, but it's never too late.
“Please, please, please, please just be careful who you have children with,” Cassidy warned viewers. “I’m telling you, girly, you do not wanna end up in my situation.”
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.