Daughter Goes No Contact From Her Family After Her Mom Demands She Go To Junior College Instead Of Just Work
It seems like her boyfriend had a lot of influence in her decision.
fizkes | Shutterstock Children cutting off contact with their parents is nothing new. In fact, it’s happened for generations. But with the advent of the internet and social media, it is much more visible now than it once was.
One woman joined the legion of people sharing their experiences on TikTok, admitting that her daughter recently cut off all contact with her.
Her daughter went no contact with her family after her mom demanded she go to junior college.
"Sometimes parents just want more for their kids than what they had," the mom of six, Christy Isable, wrote in a video on the topic.
“I wanted her to go to college,” Isable admitted. “I was pretty insistent that she go to college.”
While she didn't expect her daughter to attend a four-year institute against her will, she wanted her to "at least get her core classes out of the way."
"I wanted her to meet new people and make friends and stuff," the mom added. "I told her, I said, ‘If you’ll go to junior college, it’ll at least help you meet new people, not just at your job.’”
While Isable's request seems pretty rational, her daughter — and her boyfriend — disagreed.
“Her boyfriend ... didn’t want her to go to school,” she explained. “And so, she didn’t go to school. She’s supposed to start school on Monday, and she moved out on Wednesday.”
The mom shared some insight into her emotions regarding her daughter's decision.
“When my youngest daughter first went no contact, I had every emotion that you can imagine,” she shared. “I was completely shocked. I never saw it coming. And then I was really angry. I was so mad that she would do this to not only me but to our family.”
Once the anger passed, Isable was wracked with guilt.
"I found myself wanting to … negotiate, like, take all the blame," she said. "What did I do that caused her to feel like this is the only decision she could make that was best for her?"
Finally, came acceptance of her situation.
“I had to kind of accept it and be like, ‘OK, I don't like this. I don't even understand it, but I'm going to have to respect her decision to not be a part of our family any more,’” she explained. “And as painful as that is, she has a right to decide that, even if I don't like it.”
These feelings are not only normal but expected for estranged parents.
Isable's experience, while painful, is not unique.
"It is a gut-wrenching experience," Empowering Parents wrote. "When your child cuts you out of her life it provokes deep feelings of shame, guilt, bewilderment, and hurt, all of which can easily turn to anger."
"Rather than blame yourself or your child for this pain, use your energy to learn about yourself, your own family history, and patterns in your other relationships," they advised. "Put the focus on what you have control of: your own life."
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.