Dad With 50/50 Custody Of His Kids Asks If It’s His Job As A Parent To Make Sure There Is Food In Their Mom’s Fridge
Where do his responsibilities begin?
New Africa / Shutterstock Co-parenting is no easy feat. It's often unclear where exactly boundary lines are drawn and which responsibilities belong to who.
One father with 50/50 custody of his children questioned if he was responsible for ensuring their mom’s fridge was full.
The dad and TikTok creator named Erin posed an interesting question in a video that got plenty of responses from other users.
“Is it my job, as the dad of my children, to make sure that [there] is food in their mother’s refrigerator? Is that my obligation?” he asked.
Erin provided additional context so that viewers could fully understand the situation he was in.
“We are not together. We co-parent,” he stated. “She works. I work. We both have households.”
“I have my children three and a half days out of the week,” he explained in a follow-up video. “That’s every week. I do not pay child support because I take care of my kids.”
“My oldest is not my biological, and I’ve been taking care of her for the last six years, and I will continue to do so for the rest of her life,” he added. “Even though me and her mom [are] not together, she is still my daughter. She is part of my family and will continue.”
“I have bills to pay,” Erin continued. “I have insurance to pay. I have rent to pay. I got DTE to pay. I have a refrigerator to fill. I have kids’ clothes. I have doctor’s appointments to go to.”
Because of all of this, Erin believed it should not be his responsibility to keep his ex’s fridge full. “Why would I fill up her refrigerator because she refuses to spend her money wisely?” he asked.
TikTokers had varying reactions to Erin’s dilemma and what was and wasn't his responsibility.
One user, Jefe, or @yngjefe_95, argued that Erin was doing all that he could to take care of his kids and should be recognized for his effort.
“His baby mama don’t got no money,” Jefe said. “So to me, I think he should fight for full custody and make sure his kids have something to eat every night.”
“It is not his responsibility to make sure that there [is] food in another grown person’s refrigerator,” Jefe argued. “If she does not have the finances to take care of those kids properly, she should not have full custody.”
Another TikTok user, Erica, had a completely different take.
“I don’t think co-parenting means what you think it means,” she said.
Erica shared a story about her ex-husband, who offered to pay thousands of dollars upfront so their daughter would have a good healthcare plan when Erica moved to a new job with an insurance plan that came with a high deductible.
“It’s his job as a parent to ensure that our child is taken care of,” she said emphatically.
“Now, you’re asking a question about putting food in the refrigerator of their mother,” Erica said, returning to the issue at hand. “Your children also live there. That is their refrigerator. That is their food, and you just need to make sure that they are taken care of. If that means putting food in her refrigerator, that means putting food in her refrigerator.”
Culbertson and Associates Law Firm listed ten reasons why a parent might be awarded full custody. They included “parent’s ability to provide for the child” and “parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs.”
Based on this information, it seems like Erin would have a strong argument for full custody, though he clarified that there is "a big difference between filling the refrigerator and kids being hungry."
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.