Dad Says The Lord Told Him His Wife Should Stay Home With The Kids — Despite Her Earning The Majority Of Their Family Income
He claimed his wife should be responsible for caring for their two sons instead of working full-time.
fizkes / Shutterstock A father has caused a bit of flutter after admitting that he received a "message" that confirmed his wife should quit her job and become a stay-at-home mother.
In a TikTok video, Rachel Cruze, a co-host of "The Ramsey Show," where experts talk about life and money, advised a man who called into the show to talk about the dilemma he recently found himself in regarding the future of his wife's career.
He claimed the Lord told him his wife should stay home with the kids despite earning the majority of their family income.
He explained that he comes from a double-income family, but recently felt, "the Lord call my wife" to stay home with their two boys who are both under the age of 2. His question to Cruze was what should he do about their house to enable her to become a stay-at-home mother and abandon her career.
When asked what his income looked like and how it would be affected if his wife was not working, he answered: "It's about $144K take-home and that's after 401K and all of that too. It'll drop to about $61K." Cruze's co-host questioned whether he felt that he and his wife would need to move to make the decrease in their family's income work.
He admitted that both he and his wife thought they might have to sell their home, but were still unsure what else needed to be done, or if selling their house was the right move to make in the long haul. Cruze's co-host agreed that staying in their current house wasn't an option if his wife was going to become a stay-at-home mother.
"There's a lifestyle choice there, right?" Cruze interjected. "That you guys, as a family together say, we value this work and feel called into it. It's a higher calling for you and that's going to have to then reflect your lifestyle as well."
While this man's dilemma stemmed from financial pressures and the future of how their income would look, people in the comments questioned whether or not this was a decision that his wife made as well. Being a stay-at-home parent shouldn't be forced upon anybody because of how much hard work and dedication goes into something that takes 24/7 of your attention and efforts.
More U.S. mothers have chosen to quit their jobs and become stay-at-home parents.
According to a large 2023 survey conducted by Motherly, an advocacy group, nearly a quarter of American mothers now identify as stay-at-home parents — a sharp rise from 15% in 2022. The 2023 statistic of 24% means that 9% of mothers have given up their jobs over the past year.
When the survey asked respondents for a primary reason for initiating this change in their job status, the most common motivation, shared by 24% of surveyed mothers was wanting to stay home with their children. Findings also revealed that almost half of all the mothers surveyed (45%) said that if they wished to work in the future, affordable childcare would be necessary.
Affordable childcare, which seems to be dwindling rather quickly, is something many mothers can agree is a huge reason for their decisions to save money and stay home with their children. In a report from the Department of Labor's U.S Women's Bureau, families are putting, at minimum, 8% of their incomes toward childcare costs.
However, the decision to make such a drastic change to a woman's lifestyle shouldn't be something chalked up to religion or what a man feels should be expected of his wife. Contrary to what people believe, being a stay-at-home mother is a full-time occupation, and despite being home all of the time, a mom has to keep up with her children as well as the household responsibilities.
Photo: Elina Fairytale / Canva Pro
Stay-at-home mothers are more likely to experience depression, sadness, stress, and anger compared to working mothers. Making any changes in both career and family dynamics should be a joint decision between both partners, taking into account their expectations, desires, and financial realities.
This husband acknowledges that his wife makes the majority of their income which will take a huge hit if she quits and stays home, but seemingly finds it more appealing for her to become a stay-at-home mother than think about the logistics and the unfair reality that will occur if his wife truly doesn't want to do it.
If couples refuse to make these decisions together and instead rely on outdated gender roles as the answer, the only thing that will happen is resentment between partners that will bleed into the family dynamic and end up negatively impacting the children as a result.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.