Dad Refuses To Talk To His Child Days After She Said She Wished He Was The Man Who Takes Care Of Her At Daycare
She hurt his feelings, but does she deserve to be punished for that?
MAYA LAB / Shutterstock As children grow up, they are in the process of learning acceptable social skills and what is OK to say. Because of this, they sometimes let things slip that aren’t entirely appropriate to share.
After a little girl had had one of these slip-ups, her father was incredibly offended and decided that the silent treatment was an appropriate response.
The dad refused to talk to his young daughter after she said something that hurt his feelings.
An anonymous mother took to Reddit to ask for advice after an awkward exchange between her daughter and husband. According to this mom, the day started off fine, and everyone was in good spirits.
“It’s not very often that I get to spend time out with my husband and kids,” she shared. “So it was lovely to meet my husband as he finished work with my five-year-old and six-month-old and for us all to get the bus home.”
“Everything was great,” she said, “until my darling little girl cuddled up next to her dad and said, ‘I wish you were David,’ in a carefree sing-song voice. David is one of the people who [takes] care of her at [daycare].”
The father was understandably offended by his daughter's declaration.
“Husband is immediately angry, and I can see how hurt he is,” the woman wrote. “We explain to our daughter why what she said was very hurtful. She gets upset that we’re upset.”
Unfortunately, several days later, her husband was still not speaking to their daughter.
“It has now been two days. Husband still won’t engage with her except for the bare minimum,” she stated. “Won’t hug her when she asks.”
The wife tried to convince her husband to interact with their daughter again, but he was steadfast in his decision.
“I argue with my husband that she’s still just little. She doesn’t understand,” she wrote. “He needs to let it roll off of him and get past it.”
Her husband, on the other hand, doesn’t see it that way. “He says she needs to learn from this,” she said. “That if she upsets someone, then she doesn’t get to decide when everything is okay.”
According to experts, it’s best to address and then move on from these kinds of situations.
Fatherly covered what to do when your children hurt your feelings. They spoke to Katie Ziskind, a family therapist. According to her, “When a child hurts their parent’s feelings, it is important to stop, pause, and address these hurt feelings.”
It seems like this family did attempt to do this by addressing the problem and the pain it caused right away.
“This process teaches your child empathy," Ziskind added. "Parents who brush it off actually do a disservice to their child."
While the father in this situation definitely didn’t brush off what his daughter said, he instead allowed it to affect him far too much and resorted to ignoring her. This is not benefitting either of them.
Fellow Reddit users agreed that it was time for the dad to move on.
Redditors who commented on the post agreed with the mother. They, too, felt it was time for this father to move on from his hurt feelings and show his daughter love again.
“That hurts, but your husband needs to move past it,” one said. “She’s the child, and she had no idea that would hurt him. She will only learn from this that she’s not loved or cared for.”
“His reaction is [a] recipe for shutting down any open, honest communication between himself and your daughter,” another person shared. “She’s probably feeling unsure about what she can and can’t say to dad.”
Although this dad’s feelings were hurt, it’s time to move on. All he’s doing now is causing his child pain.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.