Parents Who Make These 7 Simple Mistakes Often Raise Narcissistic Children, Says Research
If you want your child to have a shot at a healthy relationship, avoid these parenting mistakes.
Julia M Cameron | Pexels Raising a narcissistic child is terrifying if you think about it. It suggests the child will grow up being conditioned into having an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and that means finding a healthy relationship will be challenging for them when they reach adulthood.
If you want your child to have a shot at a healthy relationship, make sure you avoid these simple mistakes, otherwise the chances of raising another little narcissist to add to the world's problems will increase.
Parents who make these mistakes often raise narcissistic children:
1. They make their kid the center of the universe
Yes, we know you love your kid, but they need to learn that there are other people around them with feelings. By making sure they aren’t getting used to being everyone’s focus, you’re teaching them to be considerate of other people and everyone is equally important.
A study in the Journal of Humanistic Counseling showed the value of teaching children empathy and responsibility so they can better navigate social relationships without †he need to be center stage.
2. They don't teach consequences for actions
Narcissists often will do things because they feel they’re entitled to do them. Once again, you have to show your kid that being mean and manipulative isn’t going to win them any friends and that those kids are hurting because of their actions.
3. They don't let their kid fail
Ever notice how kids who always have parents battle teachers over grades tend to have narcissistic qualities? That’s because insisting on special treatment for your kid tends to make them think that they’re entitled to special treatment all the time.
Teaching them how to deal with failure and frustration is one of the easiest ways to avoid narcissism and burnout.
4. They focus on impressions, not connections
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One of the easiest ways to ensure your kid doesn’t turn into a narcissist is to focus on real friendships and real connections instead of just having them hog the limelight.
When they have real friends and a real bond with people, they will be much less likely to feel a lack of self-esteem and will be much less likely to act like narcissists, according to studies in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
5. They don't model boundaries
Kids need to learn boundaries, and that means you need to tell them they’re not getting their way once in a while. Surprise! Having boundaries makes kids less likely to be narcissists.
6. They praise too much
If there’s one thing we’ve learned lately, it’s that too much praise tends to lead to narcissistic behavior. Research from the Handbook of Trait Narcissism demonstrated how being over-praised makes people think they deserve more than they do, and at the same time, it tends to decrease self-esteem. Warmth, on the other hand, tends to be more reassuring.
7. They don't teach that love isn't the same as approval
Narcissists often don’t realize this and tend to take approval as better than love. Research from the American Psychological Association suggests that parents need to teach children the difference and explain that approval is fleeting.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.