Bride Won't Let Her 5-Year-Old Sister Come To Her Wedding Unless She Goes To Therapy First Because She Has A Crush On The Groom
“She started crying and hitting me because she wanted to marry him.”
DocPhotos / Shutterstock For some, it might seem irrational to prohibit a 5-year-old from attending a wedding over a puppy crush on the groom.
But after one bride’s little sister continued to throw tantrums over her jealousy, the woman decided it may be best to ban the girl from attending the wedding.
The bride said her little sister isn’t allowed to attend her wedding unless she sees a therapist first.
She took to Reddit to ask if she was wrong in demanding her 5-year-old sister seek professional help. In the AITA post, the woman explained she is 24, and she has three younger siblings — a 9-year-old sister, a 7-year-old brother, and a 5-year-old sister, who she referred to as Evie.
“I just want to start off by saying I love my baby sister more than anything in the world,” she wrote.
She and her fiancé watch her siblings every day after school, and they spend the night together a few days a week.
The woman said her fiancé proposed to her six months ago. Her two older siblings were excited by the news, but Evie was “furious.”
“She started crying and hitting me because she wanted to marry him, and if I marry him, she can't,” the bride explained. “She refused to speak to me for almost a week, and now she's mostly OK, but she gets mad at me and starts crying and hitting me any time she sees me kiss him.”
The woman said Evie was supposed to be her flower girl, but with her recent outbursts, she wondered if including her in the wedding would be a good idea.
“I called our dad, told him about all of this, and said that she won't be allowed to attend the wedding unless she starts seeing a therapist before the wedding,” she wrote. “The wedding is in September, so he has a couple months to get her in therapy.”
The bride explained she and her fiancé have taken on caring for her younger siblings, as their parents are not too involved in their lives.
The bride’s dad was stunned by her daughter’s ultimatum over her little sister’s crush, claiming therapy wouldn’t be necessary. He told her she was overreacting and wouldn’t forgive her for excluding Evie from the wedding, but Reddit users saw good reason for the bride’s concerns.
“Where are the parents? Why is no one telling her that she can’t behave this way?” someone commented.
The bride replied to various comments in the forum, offering additional context to her situation. She explained that she and her fiancé reprimand Evie every time she throws a tantrum or gets violent about their relationship.
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“She sits in time-out every time this happens, and if this happens outside of the house, we leave and take her home,” she explained. “My fiancé even refuses to play with her after and tells her that he doesn't play with people that hit.”
She added that she and her younger siblings have different moms, and both the mom and their dad are not very involved in the kids’ lives, which is why the bride and her fiancé spend so much time with them.
Reddit users psychologically evaluated Evie’s behavior, suggesting it has more to do with an innate desire for stability than a crush.
“Your [fiancé] is probably the only stable male figure she knows, and she could be afraid that you are taking him away from her,” one person concluded. “Talk to your sister. She is acting out not because she wants to marry him but because of a fear of losing him.”
Many individuals advised the woman to discuss her concerns with her siblings’ parents and implement boundaries.
“She's acting out because she doesn't have stability at home,” someone suggested. “You're threatening the only stability she's had so of course she's upset.”
“If [her parents] are unwilling to be involved, then you need to evaluate your place in her life,” they added. “It sounds like you're raising her and your other siblings, but are you planning to do this long-term? Are you going to get custody and raise them in your home? If not, then you need to start enforcing some boundaries because they are starting to see you and your fiancé as parents.”
“The 5yo may be afraid of losing OP and expressing it unpredictably or may have gotten overly attached to the fiancé as the only loving male figure in her life,” another person commented.
Evie’s unnerving behavior may indicate signs of emotional neglect.
It’s natural for toddlers to develop schoolgirl crushes on their older relatives’ partners — often, they don’t know better and grow out of it.
But Evie’s crush appears to signify a deeper need for attention and connection, and she may be suffering from emotional neglect from her parents.
The bride is reasonable in suggesting therapy. However, based on the dynamic of their family, they may require a family intervention to take action and avoid putting unnecessary stress and pressure on the bride and her fiancé as they focus on their life together.
As various Reddit users pointed out, the bride’s younger siblings are lucky to have her and her fiancé as role models in their lives. Hopefully, Evie grows out of her unruly behavior and finds solace in her older sister and brother-in-law’s love and care.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.