A Boy Gets Kicked Out At 16 And Builds A Life On His Own — His Family Tries To Apologize 30 Years Later
Is their apology too late?
Diego Cervo / Shutterstock At the tender age of 16, one boy found himself lost and alone after he was abruptly kicked out of his home by his own family. Now, they want to mend fences, but is it too little too late?
Over 30 years later, the man took to Reddit to share the heart-breaking but inspiring story of how he built a life on his own.
In the r/TwoHotTakes Reddit post, the man explained how he lost his mom to breast cancer when he was 12, and his dad remarried two years later.
The man said he developed an amicable relationship with his new step-mom, whom he referred to as Ashley, and younger step-sister, Emily, but he struggled to get along with his step-brother, Mark, who was the same age as him. They frequently got into arguments and fights, and his dad always told him to “give Mark a break” since he was used to being “the man of his house,” and it would take time to adjust. It seemed that every time they had a dispute, the boy’s dad took Mark’s side over his own son’s.
Photo: Alexander_Safonov / Shutterstock
At 15, the boy started dating a girl, Lisa, whom Mark apparently also had feelings for, only creating more tension between them. “He started a fight over it, in which my Dad had to intervene once again. And somehow I, again, was made to be the bad guy,” he said.
After he turned 16, everything took a turn for the worse. While his step-mom was putting away laundry one day, she discovered several pairs of Emily’s underwear in the boy’s drawer. She shouted at him in disgust, asking why they were there, but he was perplexed, knowing he hadn’t put them there. To make matters worse, Mark claimed he had caught the boy staring inappropriately at Emily and wishing to marry her. The boy protested, assuring them none of this was true.
Sadly, no one believed him, and all it took was Mark painting him in a bad light for them to throw him out of the house.
His girlfriend, Lisa, was repulsed by this. She slapped him and broke up with him on the spot. His own dad didn’t even bother to hear him out, and he kicked him out of the house like it was the only reasonable solution.
“I banged on the door to be let in, crying and telling them it was all lies told by Mark. "My dad apparently had enough,” the man wrote. “I heard the locks, he opened the door and shoved me to the ground, and told me to get lost. I told him I had nowhere to go and he said that wasn't his problem, then closed the door.”
He tried calling his dad’s parents for help, but his dad beat him to it and they also bought into the lies. He was inconsolably alone, with no one there to have his back. He never heard from his dad again. He spent the next two years on the streets, surviving in any way he could.
Photo: Roman Bodnarchuk / Shutterstock
“No kid should have had to do what I had to do, in order to just live,” he wrote in the post. “There were some really dark days.” After he turned 18, he was able to get a job at a boxing gym several states away. He worked there for over a decade, having found an outlet to make money and let out his pent-up anger and frustration.
Things were looking up for the man, and he found himself in the right place at the right time.
At 35, he met a girl, Ame, at a cafe near the gym. She was much younger, only 20 years old, but they had an instant connection that was too real to deny. “We just clicked,” he said. “I don't believe in fate, or soul mates or any of that stuff like that, but if there is such a thing, we had it.”
They began dating, and two years later, they got married. Her family was quick to take him in like their own son. Her dad was an electrician, and he hired him. The man and Ame have spent the last 15 years together, having four daughters together. He has a close relationship with her dad, and they spend a lot of time together fishing, camping, and watching sports.
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Ame encouraged him to get his GED, which enabled him to get his master’s license as an electrician. “She has been my rock, my cheerleader, my overall support through this all,” he expressed. “I can't tell her enough how much she changed my life and how much I love her.”
Now 53 years old, he has been going to therapy to heal from the pain of his past and release the anger of being turned on by his family. Despite it all, it led him to the family he has now, and he has found harmony.
That’s why he was surprised when he suddenly received an apology email from his stepsister.
After over 30 years of never hearing from his family, Emily reached out with a long-winded email, deeply apologizing for everything and wishing to reconnect.
In the email, she explained how they finally learned what truly happened. During a drunken night with friends, Mark bragged about his foul plan to set his stepbrother up and steal his girlfriend, Lisa, who was now married to him.
Lisa overheard this conversation and immediately called Emily to let her know, prompting her to find him.
She concluded the email asking if they could give him a proper apology, face-to-face, and make up for lost time.
Suffice it to say, the man didn’t want anything to do with them anymore. He was no longer full of anger or hatred, but simply indifferent.
“I have no ill feelings towards her, she obviously was young and had no real say in the matter,” he explained. “But with lots and lots of therapy, I learned to let go of that hate and anger and to let go of them. As well with all the love I receive from my wife, kids, and in-laws, it's all I really need.”
After years of working to overcome the trauma his family caused him, needing to be there for himself when none of them were, he didn’t feel it’d be very productive to let that pain back in. He hasn’t decided whether or not he wants to reply. Rather, he’s decided to process this turn of events and run it by his therapist first. As his wife pointed out, it only took them 30 years to believe him.
People argued there is never a valid reason to disown your own child.
Nothing can ever erase the pain of being disowned by your family over false information. The man’s dad, who is still alive and with his stepmom, has yet to reach out. He willingly erased his son from his life with seemingly no regrets.
Even if Mark’s lies were true, it’s certainly not an excuse to abandon your child and leave them for dead, and the dad missed the opportunity to hear him out and work through the situation together.
It is a parent’s responsibility to always be there for their child, no matter what, and the dad failed miserably at this. He severely lacked any ounce of empathy or concern for his son, finding it so easy to cut him out of his life from one moment to the next.
The man has gone down a remarkable path of self-discovery, growth, and healing. He’s found peace within his own family, and if anything, the tragic path he had to go down ended up leading him to the beautiful family he has now. Whatever his decision, it will be the right one for him.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure and spirituality topics.