21 Questions To Ask Your College-Age Kid To Find Out How They Feel About You As A Parent
Sometimes you need to ask the hard questions.
fizkes | Canva Pro Becoming an adult is one of the biggest milestones a young person can experience. Much like watching them grow up, it changes everything, seemingly overnight. One day, they're on summer vacation like usual, and the next, they're saying goodbye to you as they embark on day one of adulthood.
It's an enormous change for kids and parents alike — and it can sometimes be difficult to truly know if your kid is ready to face life and if they want to share that life with you. Even more difficult to answer are questions about how your relationship will change. Will you still share the same bond, and does your child even want to?
Asking hard questions and having an open, heartfelt dialogue with your college-age kid can be very revealing. You'll probably learn a lot about your own feelings in the process — and you'll definitely learn how they feel about you as a parent.
Here are 21 questions to ask your kid before they go to college.
1.What do you miss most about living at home with me, and what do you actually like about being apart?
2. What qualities of mine do you see in yourself?
3. What’s one thing I misunderstand about you or your life?
4. What do you wish we could have done more of together when you were still a kid?
5. What is a small thing I do that you appreciate more than I realize?
6. What is something you feel is missing from your life today?
7. What is something you are naturally good at?
8. What’s one time in the past year that you really missed me?
9. How do you think our family has challenged traditional gender roles?
10. What is something I do that annoys you?
11. In what ways do you hope your life is like mine when you grow up, and how do you hope it’s different?
12. Describe a moment that drastically changed your life?
13. What is one thing you're holding on to that you know you need to let go?
14. What is something you think we can do together now that would improve our relationship?
15. Describe how your mental health has affected your life and if/how it still does now?
16. When was the last time you saw me cry and how did it make you feel?
17. When you think of home, what or who do you think of?
18. What do you worry about most when it comes to your future?
19. What advice do you think you can give me that would make a big difference in my life?
20. What is my most beautiful quality as a person?
21. What is something you love about me that I may not love about myself?
Change in your relationship with your child is inevitable as they embark on the adventures of life, as are decisions and shifts in viewpoint that you might find hard to take — or even disagree with.
But with open, heartfelt communication, all of this change and transition can be transformative instead of hindering. Talking about hard things instead of avoiding them is love.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice, and human interest topics.