5 Common Love Epiphanies That Change The Course Of A Marriage
The 'aha' moments that can make or break your relationship.
Oneinchpunch, wilhei | Canva Some call them "light bulb moments." Others call them moments of clarity or epiphanies. Oprah? Well, if you have watched any of her shows, you know that she calls them "Aha" moments and they are usually followed by thundering applause and triumphant hand gestures.
But, no matter what title you give them, there is no disputing that epiphanies can change your life in an instant. All of a sudden, everything makes sense.
This is especially true in dating and relationships and it is important to not ignore or discount your dating "aha" moments. Here are five of the most common and how to make the most out of these moments of clarity.
Here are 5 common love epiphanies that change the course of a marriage:
1. "I deserve better."
Everyone has a breaking point. But, sometimes we don't know what it is until, in a single moment, everything changes. Maybe your boyfriend is yelling at you for no reason and you realize that you do not want to be treated that way ever again.
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Perhaps the man you are dating cancels plans for the tenth time in a row and you finally decide that you are not going to be taken for granted. Whatever the case, these type of epiphanies save us from settling for less than we deserve in life and in love.
2. "I don't want anyone else."
You're having a blast dating a few different guys, giving them nicknames in your phone so you won't confuse their text messages and are not concerned with that whole "commitment" thing.
You are just having fun. But, then it hits you. You meet a guy who makes you want to stop casual dating because suddenly commitment sounds like the most fun.
If you do want a relationship, casual dating shouldn't be the route you take. One study at Clemson University found that 2/3 of the participants were just hooking up with people, and had no interest in dating.
3. "I love you."
For some, falling in love is a slow build. A gradual process where things just sort of fall into place. Maybe there was never any question or things were simply assumed.
For others, falling in love can feel like you've just flipped the lights on for the very first time. You wake up one morning and realize that you love this man. Sure, you might have just seen him last night, but this morning everything looks so different.
4. "I understand you."
One of the major reasons we get upset or frustrated with our significant others is because they do things that we simply do not understand.
Why does your boyfriend shut down during arguments? Why is money such a sensitive topic with him? When we don't know the "why" behind it all, we assume that he must be doing it to annoy us. This is true until you have an "Aha" moment.
Maybe you spend extended time with his parents and notice that his father seems to shut down during intense discussions.
Maybe your boyfriend confides in you one night that money was very tight when he was growing up and he never had guidance when it came to money management skills. Suddenly, it all becomes clear and easy to understand.
5. "I believe you."
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever heard comes from Oprah's best friend, Maya Angelou.
"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." This is especially difficult when we don't want to believe what we see or when we want the other person to be different.
The "Aha" moment happens when you realize that despite what you want so badly, the truth is right in front of you. For example, take a woman who has fallen for a guy she thinks is perfect, but he's upfront and adamant about not wanting a relationship.
She tries to convince him that she won't be a clingy girlfriend, that she will be worth it, and that he will regret it later. However, her moment of clarity comes when she thinks to herself, "I don't want to be with someone I have to convince to love me" and shuts the door on the relationship.
Have you ever had an "Aha" moment while dating?
Lottie Williams is the Head of Content at We Love Dates. She has been featured in Patti Knows, the Independent, askmen, and more.