What Men Want Most In Bed

When I was in my twenties, I couldn't wait for the next issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine to hit the newsstands. It was always packed full of irresistible articles with titillating headlines like, "Secrets to Drive Him Crazy in Bed."

The magazine cleverly focused on men and sex and sold millions of copies to insecure and confused women like myself. I can say with authority that in forty-plus years, nothing has changed in "Cosmo world," and this is how I know. 4 Tips For Women Who Struggle To Say 'No'

I took my car for an oil change and as I waited on a very uncomfortable, lumpy couch, I noticed the August 2012 issue of Cosmopolitan on the table. Not having looked at one in so long, I couldn't resist and I reached for it and began to read. Change Your Mindset, Find True Love

I wasn't disappointed. The first article I opened to was titled, "The #1 Quality Men Want in Bed." And I thought, that's easy. I assumed the answer would be "confidence," which I equate with a woman being comfortable with herself. But they had asked this question to 200 men and confidence came in second.

It turns out the #1 quality they found men want in bed is "enthusiasm." I love this word! Enthusiasm implies being totally engaged and excited. It's a wonderful quality we have as children but can lose as we get older.

Turning this idea around: what do men (and let me add women) want least in bed? The opposite of enthusiasm ... apathy and half-heartedness.

Have these qualities crept into your sex life without you noticing? Do you avoid making an effort with your man because you feel uninspired? If you feel apathy in bed you need to re-engage and get excited again. What men want in bed is to feel that the woman is enthusiastically enjoying the moment with them.

When it comes to Cosmopolitan, not much has changed. Women of all ages, even an older women like myself, can still get pulled in. Let's face it, we will always want to know the answer to what men want.

If you lack enthusiam for you partner, let me help you discover what you might do to get your sexiness back.

More sex advice from YourTango:

What Men Want Most In Bed

According to Cosmopolitan Magazine, it isn't what you think.

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