SLOW SEX: THE ABSENCE OF PURPOSE AND HURRY

If you are hurried in everything else, you will be hurried in sex. A person who is very time-conscious will be hurried in sex almost as if time is being wasted. So we ask for instant coffee and we ask for instant sex. With coffee it is good, but with sex it is just ridiculous! There can be no instant sex. It is simply not something that you can hurry. Through hurry you will destroy it, and you will miss the very point. To enjoy sex a sense of timelessness must be felt. If you are in a hurry, then the feeling of timelessness cannot be experienced.

Premature ejaculation is really not a sexual problem at all. It is more of a psychological problem. Physiologically there is nothing wrong, but psychologically you are in too much of a hurry. Hurrying lays the groundwork for premature ejaculation. Here in the West, particularly here in America, a majority of men suffer from it. It is a fairly large problem. In fact, my research indicates that never before in the history of man has premature ejaculation been such a large problem. For the first time a whole civilization is in a hurry. For the first time a whole civilization is too time-conscious.

In the Far East, people have never suffered from premature ejaculation because things move so slowly and nobody is in a hurry. In the Far East, there is more than enough time. In fact, eternity is available! Remember, the Eastern concept of death is that after you die, you will be reborn again and again and again. This concept provides for a very long duration. In the Far East, there is no particular need to rush ---- after all, you have eternity!

The Western idea that there is only one life makes you very feverish. You have just one life! So, you have to make something out of it immediately, otherwise it will be gone and you will have missed it. Here, everything has to be fast. The mind creates the problem. It goes on giving directions from deep within, at an unconscious level, to do it quickly, be fast, finish soon. There is this constant hankering to be instantaneous. It makes it seem that the most important thing in life is how to perform with great speed.

However, all great things require deliberation and patience, otherwise you will miss. Particularly in sex, you need time so that you can become saturated. You need time so that the sexual energy has a chance to build. You need patience to let the orgasmic energy expand beyond the genitals to arouse the rest of the body. There are many men who think that they are impotent, but true impotence is actually very rare. Out of a hundred impotent people ninety-nine percent simply believe that they are impotent. Think about it! All sorts of animals are experiencing orgasm. From the smallest mouse to the largest elephant and nobody is worried because they failed to read Masters and Johnson. And presumably they are all enjoying the process! In fact, man is the only animal who becomes impotent. No other animal becomes impotent because they don’t ever worry about it. Animals don’t let the mind sabotage the process. Worry makes one impotent. To be successful in sex you must get out of your head and into your body! 

Sexual orgasm needs time; the longer the better because then it will go deeper into your being, deeper into your soul. The idea is to let the energy of arousal spread until every fiber of your body is throbbing with it. But if you are in a hurry the orgasm devolves into a conventional genital release. A genital release, at least for a man, is a negative phenomenon ---- he simply loses vital energy. The ejaculation is local and very tiny, almost meaningless. In fact, he will feel tired, frustrated and depressed after it because the energy is lost. He will remain old ---- a little more tired of course, with less energy of course, but he will remain mostly the same. It has not been a rejuvenating, restorative process ---- it has not thrilled him from corner to corner, from end to end.