10 Daily Living Resolutions For The New Year!

Great dress? Check. Wonderful New Year's Eve gathering to attend? Check. Hot guy on your arm? Check. Champagne for the toast? Check. New Year's resolutions created and posted on the fridge, laying on your nightstand or inside of your iPhone? Check. 

Then you are all set to ring in 2012, right? Hmm...not so much.

You looked fabulous in that dress, the New Year's Eve party was super fun, the hot guy turned out not to be the man of your dreams but he was definitely hot and you had a great time with him! The champagne...ooh, the champagne! You drank a little too much champagne. But, New Year's Eve does only come once a year! So, no worries there. Now for the New Year's resolutions...umm, where did you place that list? What were they? Crap! Not again!

Let's face it ladies, we mean well when we create our resolutions each year. After all, these are things that we have been meaning to work on forever...or at least since last February (2011) when we fell off of the New Year's resolution bandwagon — again.

The issue with New Year's resolutions are that they tend to be impractical. Research shows that it takes at least 21-30 days to create a habit. It's easier to CREATE one or two habits at a time just as it is easier to BREAK one or two at a time. A huge list of items we want to work on and achieve by a certain date NOT because we are ready, but because of the symbolism of the date (New Year = fresh start) is a LOT to hold yourself accountable for. Then when February or March comes around and you are overwhelmed and have let the list slide away from you little by little; you begin beating yourself up for not staying on track — again! Who needs that? Don't we already have enough in our lives that we unnecessarily beat ourselves up for? Your Super Self-Esteem Tool

Contrary to the New Year's resolution tradition, there is NEVER a more perfect time than the present to change what you have been meaning to change; to create a new habit and/or do something a different way. Now is all that there ever is.

SO...I propose ten "Daily Living Resolutions". These resolutions are simple reminders that will help to keep you in the moment and on task. You do not have to wait until New Year's Day to start them, and if you fall off of one of them one day you can easily pick it back up. It is not necessary to adopt all of them! Pick which ones speak to you the most and start there! These Daily Living Resolutions will help keep you on track to living a productive life every day. Imagine that!

I guarantee that if you start living your life with these daily resolutions, you will find that you actually purchase that gym membership and GO to the gym; that you start being more discerning with who you go on those dates with; you pick up a new hobby, etc.

Why, you ask? Simply because you will have created more space in your life and you will have increased your self-worth. I don't know about you, but I would rather take THOSE resolutions and qualities to the bank any day. So let's dig in:

10 Daily Living Resolutions For 2012

1. Spend time and nurture relationships with individuals that WANT you in their lives. Life is too short and your energy is too precious to expend it on people who do not value you and recognize your worth. Period. When you feel as if you are constantly trying to earn someone's affection it can start to become draining, and feel degrading. Subconsciously you may start to step outside of yourself to fit into the other person's mold. Who wants to do that? The time that you spend silently shouting out "Love me,"  "like me," I'm great!" can go to working on you and doing things that you love with people that you have a mutual love, like and respect for. If nothing else remember this, "You should never have to fight for a spot in someone's life, they should make room for you." If they value you, they will make room. If they do not, wish them well and send them off with light and energy and go on your way. There are plenty of people out there that love you and like you simply BECAUSE you are you!

2. Be honest with yourself in all ways and at all costs. The one person that you can never get away with lying to for a long period of time is you. There will always be those moments where you are caught unaware and the lies that you have been perpetuating in your head will leave you for the truth. When you are falling asleep at night or when you first wake up in the morning; when you run into your ex with his new girlfriend in the grocery store, the truth of the matter is this: As long as you are attempting to lie to yourself you are delaying the progress and improvement that comes with facing the truth. Once you honestly look in the mirror and take inventory you have the ability to see where you TRULY are and determine where it is that you want to go. From there comes the roadmap. The roadmap is how you decide to get from your point A (where you are now) to point Z (your ultimate goal). You can't create that roadmap to follow to your destiny if you are caught up trying to live a lie. Telling yourself lies to begin with only reveals to you that you are unhappy enough to want to sugarcoat and pretend. Hello, we live in the real world. It takes courage to be honest with yourself, but know that courage is always rewarded. 

3. Go ahead, make a mistake! Making a mistake means that you took a risk. Risks generally equate eventual success. How many successful people can you name that never failed? That never fell down? That never risked anything? If you dream big, you risk big. Doing something wrong five times before you get it right is more courageous and productive then being scared to try and doing nothing at all. Every success has a list of failures and mistakes behind it. That is how you learn your lessons and get prepared for the greatness that we are destined for. You do not want to end up regretting the things that you did not do because of fear. So mistake away! I will be right there with you. 

4. Live by the rule that you are ALWAYS ready. The reality of it is that you can never be 100 percent prepared and you will never feel 100 percent prepared. Preparation is great, but waiting for the mystical "right" amount of preparation can become a handicap because it can bar you from ever taking action. In addition, what you tell yourself — your "self talk" — will eventually come true. It is what I like to call a self-fulfilling travesty. When you fill your mind with "I am not ready" thoughts then you will act accordingly, which will generally mean NOT acting on anything at all. Most great opportunities in life force you outside of your comfort zones, so when you feel that little thrill inside know that you are as ready as you will always be. Trust your preparation, trust yourself and act!

5. Do not bring your relationship baggage with you. Check it at the door. In life coaching, an assumption has a slightly different meaning. It means that "just because something happened before means that it will happen again." Are you entering each new relationship with the assumption that what happened to you in a prior relationship will happen again? Who says that is true? How factual is that? There is a purpose for everyone that you meet. People are brought into your life for a reason, a season, or for ever. Each person crosses your path because there is something to be gained from that interaction for both parties. You may not gain what you want and it may not unfold in the way that you wanted, but the Universe has a grand design for everything. If you were hurt, I am sorry. Yet, even that was for a reason. The key is to not bring that hurt to the door of the next relationship that you embark on. That person and new situation did not cause you the hurt, and they should not have to bear the brunt of a hurt you (and vice versa). A hurt you isn't the TRUE you. So if the new relationship fails, who can you really blame? If you are open to learning, even from the hurt, you will find that you can no longer locate that baggage. And isn't it easier to fly with just your light carry-on? 5 Signs You're Carrying Emotional Baggage

6. Do not feel sorry for yourself. Things happen that are not always fair or fun. Expectations and hopes can get dashed. It is not fun, nor does it feel good. I get it. Truly I do. However, you would not be given the life that you have if you could not handle it. Life happens. Curveballs happen. Things happen that you didn't expect or plan to shift you and get you back on path to where you are supposed to be — to right you on the path towards your destiny. Hindsight is always 20/20. In the moment it can be tough to simply let go. Try giving yourself a pre-determined amount of wallowing and processing time (I would not recommend more than 1-2 days), and then consciously move forward. If you look back at all of the unexplained and potentially negative things that have happened  in your life I bet that you will see that those events or people took you to a better place in the end. You just may have taken the scenic route. Each day and lesson brings you closer to your destiny. It is not what you experience but how you experience it that determines growth. You are more equipped to handle life's difficulties than you think, so there is no need to feel sorry for yourself. I promise.

7. Be accountable for your actions. Personal responsibility and accountability is key for evolution in life. You must be able to recognize when you make a mistake (see daily living resolution #3 above) and say sorry to others, and yourself, if necessary. You must be able to learn from the things that you do well in addition to the things that you do not. What happens to you is no one's "fault". No one else got you into an unfavorable situation. There is always personable accountability, something that we could have done differently. That is okay! You are human. You'll do better next time. Just remember that if you feel yourself falling into the rut of denying personal responsibility and accountability then you are giving others control and power over your life. 

8. What is worry? No seriously, DO NOT WORRY. Worry comes from insecurity. It is born of an insecurity and disbelief that all will be well. An insecurity and disbelief that no matter what happens you will find a way through and be able to take care of it. Worry is based on the future and robs you of peace in the present. Worry is based on fictional scenarios and not facts. The next time that you feel yourself sliding down the worry spiral ask yourself: a) Is this worry thought based on fact or fiction? b) How do I know that this will happen? Who says that it is so? c) When I have experienced issues before have I ever not been able to take care of it or was I okay in the end? d) How many of my projected scenarios that I worry about ever happen? 

Do NOT WORRY. Now is all that there ever is. If your head is in the future, who is taking care of your now? The now that sets you up for the future?

9. Maintain your sense of self and energy level no matter the circumstance or individuals that are around you. There are some people who are simply not happy...and others who may intentionally do malicious things. In the case of the person who is not happy; you may work with her, and whenever you see her she may bring your mood down as well. Why? That co-worker who intentionally set you up in front of your boss; where will retaliation get you in the end? Remain true to your character no matter what is going on outside of you. Outside factors are things that you cannot control.

Entrainment is a term that means that the individual with "lower" energy will automatically entrain to the person with the "higher" energy level. Or the person with the "lower" energy will retreat and run away because they are unable to handle the light that exudes from the individual who is operating on a higher energy plane. Do not consciously or subconsciously lower your standards to meet people where they are at. They may not be ready to raise their standards but you do not have to lower yours. Accept them for the place and space that they currently occupy and remain who you are. For those that are sad around you, wish them well and list the things that you are grateful for in your head when they are around. Kill them with kindness. Sometimes the ones that are the least kind to you are the ones that need your kindness the most. If you do these things you will entrain those around you to your energy level, or they will turn away from you. Either way, you are still the true you. 

10. Maintain a sense of gratitude. For each day that you wake up there is someone that did not. For each moment of health that you have there is someone that is struggling with disability or disease. Things may not always go as we wish, but count what you DO have. Perhaps you want to start a gratitude journal that you can write in each day and look at when you are feeling down. Another thing to try is to have a happiest moment of the day thought as you lay down to go to sleep at night. In addition, when negative thoughts enter your head you can consciously come up with one good thing for every bad. For example, "I'll never get a man" turns into"But what great friendships and relationships I have and have had", or "My landlord won't turn up the heat in the apartment building" to "I am grateful that I have an apartment, and that I bought that space heater on sale; I saw so many homeless people out in the cold today." It can always be worse, so count the blessings that you have each day. Change your perspective, change your life. 

Here's to a happy 2012, living each resolution one day at a time. Happy New Year's!!!