5 Ways For Alpha Males With Perfectionist Personality Traits To Kick Social Anxiety To The Curb

Strong alpha males are natural leaders, which is why asking for help often feels outside of their comfort zone and gender role. But this solely self-reliant mindset could be doing you more harm than good if it manifests into perfectionist personality traits that lead to increased social anxiety.

This phenomenon is called social perfectionism.

According to Man Up, social perfectionism is when you're "overly concerned with meeting standards you think others expect of you, standards they don’t actually expect in reality. And if you believe you’re failing to meet these perceived, unrealistic expectations it can be the cause of great distress."

Why is it so hard for most alpha males to let go of these worries and show vulnerability by asking for help?

You need to put up a facade of being smart and right so you are seen as capable and, of course, never ever afraid to tackle anything. It makes it impossible for you to ask for guidance. In turn, youalways want to stay in control and never want to feel obligated to anyone else.

It's good to be self-reliant, figure things out for yourself, and get where you need to go (even without relying on Siri). It's good to be smart and right and strong and competent. That's part of your masculine alpha mystique.

And while plenty has changed and men are becoming more caring and women are becoming more daring (think Wonder Woman), the need for most men to "tough it out" and be "perfect" male specimens is not only exhausting, but also health-damaging.

Now that you know how harmful Social Perfectionism can be for you, what can you do to change that "men don't need help" attitude most alpha males have?

Here are 5 ways you can overcome social anxiety that's caused by your alpha male perfectionist personality traits.

1. Say "yes" more

When someone asks, "Can I help you?", just stop, take a breath, and move beyond the typical knee-jerk answer of, "I've got it all handled, thanks."

2. Create connections

Even if you think you can do it alone, stop, take a breath, and engage others to join you in your projects.

3. Speak out

Share your feelings and if you need to, just stop, take a breath (use the "f" word, if need be), and let people know how you feel, not just what you think.

4. Ask, don't tell

Start with open-ended questions so stop, take a breath, and just ask. This will get you better responses than if you simply use the old pattern of telling others what to do.

5. Request a favor

Let someone do something for you. Stop, take a breath, and then simply say, "thank you" without defending your position by telling how you could have actually done it yourself.

Most alpha males hate that feeling of helplessness, and it kind of makes sense — it's a creepy feeling.

It's like being a little kid again and needing your caretaker to wipe your mouth or tush, tell you when to do your homework, or go to sleep.

You don't want to look weak or let others know you need help because you feel that maybe they will judge you. So, you put the shield up and simply tough it out.

It's really time to raise awareness that toughing it out shuts you off from the best solutions available. It's time to end the stigma that "real men don't need help".

You are a real man, and it's okay to ask for help.

Sylvia Lafair is a noted authority on leadership and a consultant to family firms, Fortune 500 companies, nonprofits, and entrepreneurs.