3 Tips For Living Together Happily Over Age 50

After divorcing in her late 40s, Carol thought she'd had her last chance at love and that she would have to just settle into being single for the rest of her life. Her children bring such joy to her life and she was very busy at work, volunteering in her community and with friends. However, Carol was very surprised when she met and fell head over heels in love with Brian five years later.

They took things slowly. But, now both of them want to take their relationship to the next level. Neither wants to get married, but they have decided to move in together so that they can wake up in one each other's arms every morning. There's no doubt in Carol's mind that this is the right thing to do. But, she's worried about how her children will react. She's also concerned that her friends won't approve. 5 Painfully Honest Reasons To End Your Relationship

Getting a second chance at love at midlife is a wonderful thing. It used to be that if you didn't have a partner by the time you hit your 40s, you'd just have to deal with being on your own. This is not necessarily a bad thing, unless you really want to be in a loving relationship.

Things are very different now. It is not unusual for a person to get divorced or go through a breakup and, in their middle to later years of life, meet and create a fabulous relationship with a new person.

A recent study indicates a growing trend for couples over the age of 50. These couples are choosing not to get married. Cohabitation is the preferred choice for many in this age group and it mirrors what younger couples are choosing as well. This decision to move in together and not get married can be for various reasons, including the following:

• You've been through the cost and hassles of divorce and don't want to go through it again.
• You like the feeling of freedom and autonomy, but also want regular companionship, affection and passion.
• You've already experienced being married and simply don't feel the need to do it again.

Shacking up together can be a great way to commit to one another, while sidestepping some of the negatives that potentially come with getting married. If you are over 50 and are thinking about moving in with your partner, keep in mind that this change in how you live and love together also has possible pitfalls. Here are four do's and don'ts to consider when thinking about moving in with your partner.

1. Don't let your "shoulds" interfere. This stereotype might not be true for you, but it is for many people: As you get older, you accumulate a lot of beliefs about the way things should be. You've had experiences and you may have formed strong opinions of what is right and wrong, what is proper and what is not. Among those long-held beliefs could be that it is wrong for a couple to live together without being married.

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Don't let the "shoulds" you've amassed in your mind over the years stand in the way of your happiness. Even if you are liberal minded, you may be worried about what others will think of you for living with your partner instead of getting married.

When worries and fears come up, about what others think or whether or not your decision is morally okay, acknowledge them. Notice them and ask yourself if you truly agree with the "shoulds" that are dragging you down. Communicate with your partner about how you are feeling and keep focusing on what is most important to you.

2. Be upfront with your family. Many who are over 50 have families to consider. Some still have teenagers living at home, college students to whom they lend support or even grandchildren they help care for. This is part of the reason why it can get confusing and complicated to be in a new relationship as you get older. But, the benefits of feeling loved, loving a partner who is right for you and being happier and more alive are well worth the potential complications.

It's best to be as honest and upfront as you can with your kids, and other family members, about what is going on between you and your partner. Don't try to hide the fact that you have fallen in love and that you are about to make a commitment to one another by moving in together. This will only cause tension, mistrust and hurt feelings.

When you tell your family about your plans to move in with your partner, you don't have to justify your decision or be defensive about it. Instead, let them in on your plans and, if this will directly affect their lives, address those specific issues. Be open to questions and offer answers that are factual and to the point.

3. Be clear about expectations. An important thing to do with your partner, before you move in together, is to come to some clear and conscious agreements. Talk about the following topics together. How To Get A Man To Be More Romantic

• Money: How will you split expenses for your home, home maintenance and repair, utilities, groceries and trips? Don't assume that just because your partner always foots the bill when you two go out to eat, he will continue to pay for it all. Conversely, if you earn more or have more money saved up than your partner, be clear about your financial boundaries.
• Kids: If you or partner have children that live at home, what are your expectations for their care? What role will you each play in their lives — whether they live with you or visit periodically? Do you plan to set aside regular one-on-one time with your children?
• Your relationship: It may already be understood between you and your partner that you are monogamous, or that you have an open relationship. Check in with one another to make sure you are both still in agreement.
  Don't assume that just because you're moving in together, it means that you're now monogamous when you weren't before. If you are continuing an open relationship, be very clear about what that means to each of you.

Moving in together can be a beautiful and connecting way to take your relationship even deeper. Communicate honestly and openly so that you can make this transition as easy and enjoyable as possible. Boost Your Romance Without Spending A Dime

Want to know how to create the kind of relationship where passion never fades or dies away?  Susie and Otto Collins share their secrets in their free ebook Passionate Heart ~ Lasting Love.