6 Common Things Women Do After A Breakup That Make It So Much Worse
Dwelling on the past will keep you stuck in the pain.
Julia Malinowska | Canva Coping with a breakup is hard and painful. It is a stressful, emotional experience and impacts your happiness and quality of life.
This event can turn your world upside down because of the feeling you've lost your partner and the dreams and promises you had.
Some ways of handling the emotions of a breakup aren't healthy and can make your breakup emotionally more challenging.
Here are 6 common things women do after a breakup that only make it worse:
1. You post excessive selfies on social media
After a breakup, we want to show our ex what they're missing out on and show everyone how well they're dealing with the breakup.
Your selfies are taken when you're out with friends, partying, or having fun.
You take selfies by yourself in the gym, salon, or at the spa. Posting a selfie now and again isn't unusual, but posting a lot to show your ex could be a problem.
Taking selfies and showing how happy you are after a breakup and sharing those on social media might be your way of masking your feelings.
2. You want to drastically change your hairstyle
A change of hairstyle is connected to a change in self-image.
It makes you feel you're in control of your life, which feels good after a breakup.
Making drastic changes to your hair can make you feel empowered and ready to give a fresh start to your life. It shows you're ready to let go of the past and walk a new path.
You might want to finally change from long hair to short. Or brunette to blonde.
Changing your hairstyle can be fun and invigorating. But be sure you're doing it for yourself and not to get attention from the ex.
3. You decide to go traveling
Traveling is one of the most effective ways women move on after a breakup. It helps you clear your mind and speed up the healing process.
It's also a perfect distraction for your heartache and can help you prove you're ready to move on.
Traveling alone is a life-changing experience; you push yourself to step out of your comfort zone and learn to be independent. Plus, it improves your relationship with yourself, which is the most important thing.
If you're choosing to take the trip you had planned with your ex, are trying to get their attention, or are making a financially unsafe decision about where, when, or how to travel, reconsider what you're doing.
Taking some time to travel can be great — if you do it for the right reasons and use it as a time to heal.
Photo: HBRH via Shutterstock
4. You stalk your ex on social media
Many women often delete pictures, unfollow, or block their exes on social media. This is probably the most common thing to do after a breakup, and it's a good choice!
Some people check their ex's accounts frequently, more often than when they were together, which makes you feel terrible and reminds you of how upset you are.
Following your exes on social media and constantly checking out what they are doing is self-torture.
For your well-being and sanity, you should unfollow them on social media and delete other constant reminders of them.
Do your best to quit your ex "cold turkey" so you can move on without baggage.
5. You talk down about your ex
Some women do this to their exes, especially if the relationship ends badly.
Badmouthing your exes to friends and family can help you (and them!) start hating the ex. It convinces you that your relationship was the worst thing to happen to you.
However, destroying your ex’s image can also mean that you're destroying the chances of reconnecting with them in the future, or at the very least, you won't be able to look back later and think about the good times you had.
It's normal to vent and let off some steam after a breakup, but choose a person to talk to and keep it confidential.
Try not to bash or talk down about your ex, either, as the focus on negativity will also put you in a bad mood.
6. You hang out with friends that aren't good for you
Hanging out with friends after a breakup is one good way to deal with heartbreak.
Your true friends are the people who are always there for you no matter what. You need people around you, especially in times like this, because they diminish the feeling you’ve been left alone and unloved.
However, there may be people who drag you down, make you feel worse, or enjoy discussing your drama. Choose positive, uplifting people to spend time with after a breakup.
Do fun things together, focus on happiness, and you will be glad you chose not to get sucked into your heartbreak.
Whatever method or practice you are going to use to cope with your breakup, you need to make sure that you're not going to hurt yourself or get stuck in negativity.
Everything happens for a reason. Don’t dwell on the past. Appreciate what you have right now, and focus on your future.
Esther Bilbao helps mentor women to have better relationships, health, and personal development.