9 Must-Read Rules For Surviving The Worst Types Of Breakups
Working with your ex can be brutal unless you do these 9 things.
Johannes Krupinski | Unsplash Breakups are unpleasant, isolating, and challenging. Going through the emotional upheaval of heartbreak takes a lot of grit.
Now imagine the individual with whom you have parted ways is a co-worker.
In that case, you could not be in a worse situation. Working through a breakup may lead to poor job performance, productivity loss, and a tarnished professional image.
There are many similar situations where a breakup may be awkward, too.
For instance, within your close circle of friends, when you are both members of the same tight-knit religious community, on the same sports team, or any time you are both integral members of an intimate group.
The good news is you can ease the stress of these situations.
Here are 9 must-read rules for surviving the worst types of breakups:
1. Process your emotions — feel it
It's okay to take some time out during the day and be alone. It's impossible to predict how long it will take you to recover from a breakup — it can take weeks, months, or even a year.
Whatever the circumstance may be, remind yourself that everything will be okay. Everyone processes change at their own pace, so pay attention to your head, body, and emotions to figure out yours.
The sense of loss and how long you experience it is unique to you and the specific situation. You can wish it instantly away all you like, but that probably won't work.
Straight through is typically the shortest path to the other side of pain, so give yourself plenty of time to feel it properly.
2. Establish essential ground rules
It's never easy to break the news to your lover that you're terminating your relationship. When you break up with your colleague (or vice-versa), the dialogue becomes more tricky.
Apart from the vexing emotional issues inherent to a split, be sure to consider how the breakup might affect your working conduct and plan accordingly. This may seem not the right time to discuss these difficulties, but it's vital if you intend to continue to work together.
Establishing some fundamental ground rules, such as treating one another with civility regardless of your disagreements or personal sentiments, should be at the top of your priority list.
Apart from that, maintaining a good work environment necessitates treating your ex-partner with the same respect as any of your coworkers.
Make a joint agreement to appreciate each other's ideas and approach them with an open mind throughout meetings and brainstorming sessions. As tough as it might be at first, keep it professional!
3. Focus on your work
At work, try compartmentalizing your emotions and concentrating on your task. You'll discover that you have less time to think about your ex if you do this.
The corporate climate is continually changing, and the workplace is competitive.
Worrying about your ex detracts from your performance. You should ask yourself deep down if you want to allow a failed relationship to affect your job as well.
4. Spare your colleagues the story
Sharing your story might help release pent-up emotions and organize your thoughts, but telling your coworkers the details about your failed workplace romance is the last thing you want to do.
Make it a point to share as little information as possible about your connection. Your coworkers don't need to know what went wrong in the relationship and who was to blame.
People get tired of long working hours and your breakup tale will be a subject of conversation during their lunch break. Avoid circulating tales about your ex or putting them in a negative light.
It's not only unprofessional, but it might also backfire if your ex asks the boss for help. You want to be known for your work, not for your contributions to workplace gossip.
Not only can acting professionally help your intrapersonal connection with your ex but the less you attract attention to it, the faster your coworkers will move on, as well.
5. Make adjustments
While you won't altogether avoid your ex at work, you can take steps to give yourself and your ex the space you need to go on with your separate lives properly.
Make these simple but essential changes: go to a different department if feasible or, at the very least, keep a safe distance from their cubicle.
Reorganize your schedule and change the times of your coffee breaks and lunches so you don't run into your ex.
6. Keep all personal correspondence off Slack and work email
Don't use your work email or phone for personal communication with your ex. This is good advice for any personal connection, but it's even more important when you're working through emotional issues like the end of a relationship.
You don't want the IT men prying into your private affairs and you certainly don't want your boss reading them.
The same is true for company-issued cell phones. Keep your phone for messaging and calling. Be careful what you publish on social media sites, where you may unintentionally broadcast to coworkers.
7. Prepare yourself to see your ex move on
Just as you thought you were getting a handle on your workplace split, word came that your ex is seeing someone new. It's difficult to watch your ex move on with ease right before your eyes.
Your next thought will be to save your ex's new significant other by telling them about their cheating habits. Keep your cool in such situations and avoid interfering with other people's dating decisions.
You could be in agony, but putting it on others will not make it go away. Instead, start your healing process by incorporating positive habits into your daily routine.
8. Welcome the post-breakup healing process
After a breakup, it's typical to struggle to concentrate at work. Your relationship's demise affects you both mentally and physically, regardless of how long it lasts.
This is why it's crucial to create a secure environment for yourself.
There are scientifically proven techniques to recover and practice self-love to reclaim your personal and professional life (apart from writing, counseling, and working out).
Meditation is the most effective approach to educating your mind to refocus, think positively, and let go of unpleasant emotions. It's extensively used to alleviate stress and cultivate mindfulness worldwide.
Make it a habit to meditate daily. It will not just make you feel more optimistic and joyful, but it will also boost your attention span, which is necessary to perform well at work.
Sound Therapy helps eliminate energetic blockages, promote deep relaxation, improve mood, and reduce stress. It gives you a new feeling of purpose, which helps to balance your emotions.
Sound Therapy may be used in various ways to reap its advantages. You have a choice of alternatives to meet your needs, ranging from one-on-one sessions to pre-recorded sound therapy sessions.
9. Think twice before dating a colleague again
You might decide to swear off dating coworkers. But what if you meet someone ... interesting ... at the office?
Before you know it, you're fantasizing about a night out on the town and reconsidering your "never again" stance.
Before jumping into another relationship with a coworker, consider the repercussions of your actions first. And before you pursue someone, try to get to know them first.
Consider modifying your policy if there's a strong connection, genuine feelings, and the chance of a happily-ever-after future.
Managing a workplace split will undoubtedly be a difficult period in your life.
On the other hand, you're fully capable of handling the situation with grace and power. To go past this phase of your life, you have to work on yourself.
Sidhharrth Kumaar is an astro-numerologist and Founder of NumroVani. He couples his knowledge of modern sciences to solve real-world problems in the areas of mental well-being and relationship growth.