6 Casual Sex Rules To Follow If You Don't Want To Get Attached
Casual hookup is fantastic — only if you play by the game rules.
weheartit Have you recently entered into a casual sex relationship? If that’s the case, then you’re not alone.
Research has shown that more and more people prefer the whole no-attachment idea as opposed to forming committed relationships.
No matter your reasons — whether you’re just fresh out of a breakup or looking for ways to enjoy that single life for a while — the truth is, casual sex relationships can definitely spice up your life.
That is, as long as they're done right.
But how do you know which rules to follow for something that’s supposed to be easy-going and without any rules?
Actually, that’s exactly the reason why you should set some sort of rules yourself in the first place...so things can be kept fun!
Read on to learn the most basic casual sex rules to follow to avoid getting any strings attached and get the most out of your relationship:
1. Find the right person.
In a casual sex relationship, finding the right person has a slightly different meaning than it does in a romantic relationship. This time, you’re not looking to find Mr. or Mrs. Right — you’re just looking for someone to have a lot of great sex with!
That means you should probably skip your closest friends and very likely your office colleagues as well, as things are bound to get weird afterward.
Instead, try hooking up with people you don’t know that well. Maybe an acquaintance you’ve always liked or someone you met in a bar.
If that doesn't work, there are thousands of online dating websites for casual sex. Sign up for one and stay away from the hassle of getting involved with someone close to you.
2. Set some ground rules.
While it’s true that some rules may look like they’ll be killing the thrill of your casual sex relationship, you’re very likely to regret not that you didn't set rules in the beginning.
In order to do this, you’ll need to be open and talk about your expectations. The first thing that should be set clear is whether you’re going to be seeing other people or not. Also, talk about what happens if someone falls in love with someone else.
Other concerns should be something along the lines of how often do you think you should see each other, where should you met, and would it be okay if someone stayed over for the night.
Apart from that, don’t forget to decide whether you’ll be keeping your relationship in secret — many would rather keep things as discreet as possible!
3. Stay safe.
Sure, casual sex relationships are only about keeping things casual, right? Well, for the most part, sO don’t get swiped into excitement and forget about one of the most important parts of having sex: protection!
Any sex you practice in relationships with zero strings attached should always — always! — be protected. No matter whether you’re exclusive or not, look for ways that will protect you both against STD and any unwanted pregnancy.
If you're not sure what might be the best birth control method for you and your partner, talk to your doctor and they’ll be more than happy to give you some advice.
4. Leave your emotions behind.
Casual sex relationships work well as long as both sides agree to put their emotions aside. Ideally, both individuals are aware why they’re getting together for — to have sex. Never get fooled into thinking this might turn into something more lasting because chances are, it won’t.
However, since you’re obviously going to spend some time with someone you like, you can easily end up liking them a bit too much, which is where things start getting messy. Even if you do end up developing some emotions, don’t go ahead and make the big "I love you" statement.
Instead, be honest. Talk about your feelings and consider doing some rearrangements in your relationship, whether that means moving it to the next stage or ending it before someone gets hurt.
If you think you've fallen in love or your partner has fallen in love, YourTango Expert Moushumi Ghose talks about protecting your heart when this happens.
5. Don’t develop a personal bond.
No one is saying that you shouldn't do any talking during your time together. Some couples even prefer to do some sort of dates before getting to the fun part. However, there should be clear boundaries about the things the two of you share with one another.
It’s okay to talk about everyday events — who got late to work or what did you eat for lunch that day. But small talk is completely different than sharing some intimate parts of your past or current life — you probably should not share just how much your ex hurt you when they broke up with you.
Apart from that, watch out for all of the technology around you — texting makes it easy to fall into a trap and talk a bit too often! Keep contact to a minimum on the days you don’t meet — do you really need to send them that cat meme?
RELATED: 10 Tips For The Best Casual, No-Strings-Attached Sex EVER
6. Don’t get trapped.
Some people may easily feel trapped by the other side even in relationships like this. One thing leads to another and before you know it, you’re the one adjusting to their schedule all the time or getting booty calls only when they see it fit.
Don’t let that happen! Both of you should feel like you’re getting an equal amount of benefit of your arrangement.
Relationships like this are called casual for a reason — you have zero obligations towards each other. But even though they’re called relationships, they’re not quite like real relationships — eventually, the biggest percentage of them does end.
If you ever feel the need to end it, do it so without feeling any pressure. If the other side is trying to make you feel bad for leaving them, maybe it’s time to end the relationship anyway; it could be that someone has started developing feelings!
Remember, there’s nothing wrong with two adults meeting up from time to time to have a fair share of fun together. As long as you have some ground rules set and you’re staying on the safe side of things, the no-attachment relationships should be all about enjoying yourself.
Shawn Yale is a voice for the voiceless in the LGBTQIA community and has been writing for over a decade on topics related to the successes, suppression, and insecurities faced by the community.