Shahida Arabi, MA - Expert

I have a passion for coaching survivors of trauma and abuse, connecting them with the best resources, tips and tools that will enable them to transcend their experiences and rebuild victorious lives.  My specialty is No Contact coaching with survivors of narcissistic abuse. I am passionate about using my diverse knowledge base in psychology, sociology, gender studies and mental health advocacy, as well as my own personal experiences, to help survivors of emotional and psychological trauma stage their own recovery from abuse.

Testimonials from my coaching services and blog include:

"I knew I was in a bad relationship, my friends and family knew I was in a bad relationship, but neither I nor they were aware of the real trouble that was going on.  I was so completely handicapped by the shameful gaslit thoughts that I played a major role in the dysfunction, that I had not been honest with anyone about the degree of abuse that was going on. Discovering Shahida's article, "5 Ways Narcissistic Abusers Get Inside You Head" opened my eyes to the psychological trap I had been lured into. Her wisdom on the subject of narcissistic abuse has been an emotional north star to guide me in a direction precisely inverse to the power and control of my ex. Walking away from him felt much like walking away from a cult where he was the leader and I was the disobedient member, never knowing my role and forever provoking him. While it was the right thing to leave, it felt very much like the wrong thing initially. Her insights on the impacts narcissistic abuse can ensue on the victim have been nothing short of enlightening. They have sturdied my spine in the many moments of doubt, arched back my shoulders when I've huddled in a ball resistant to cope, and widened my inner aperture when I struggled to let the light in. Through online coaching and her tailored meditations she has been a key ally in my journey to healing while also affirming the importance of being a key ally to myself. Even before I left my ex, I had started counselling. Since leaving him, I have opened up to friends and family about the emotional and physical harm he inflicted on me. They have been an incredible support. Still, I feel that Shahida has brought a unique and crucial perspective to my life during a very difficult time. I needed that educated voice that saw through all the manipulative tactics, that could forecast the very predictable behaviour of a narcissist once you have left them, that gently nudged me to maintain no contact while understanding the addictive urges to reach out or respond to my ex, and that reassured me that by maintaining no contact I was not being cruel or immature or vengeful (as my ex had suggested). I was responding appropriately to any threat on survival and escaping. This was indeed a threat on my survival in the sense that I, as the strong healthy me, could not live in that situation, and had I stayed I would have continued to deteriorate into a smaller and smaller figment of myself. I am still very much on the road to healing, but I feel that without the help of Shahida that road could have been much longer. She is a giving soul, an astute writer and in fight to free yourself of a narcissist's ploys, she is an invaluable resource in have in your corner." - Tara, Coaching Client

“As I look back I would say being in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser was like being shackled to a lunatic in the darkest corner of Bedlam. Of course you don’t even realise its happening until it’s too late and you are lost in their empty, evil world. I left so confused and unsure of what had happened to me, with the support of my mother and then finding Shahida online I could educate myself, empower myself and heal. Shahida taught me so much and I am so thankful to have found her.

My relationship with him was textbook; I read Five Powerful Ways Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head. It was as if Shahida had been writing about my life in the last two years. He was everything she wrote about and it all clicked into place.

After being in such a muddled headspace, Shahida sorted my head out and I am stronger than ever, she taught me everything I needed to know and with this knowledge I got my life back. These people are very dangerous, they are never happier until you are confused and at the mercy their control. I would never allow someone to take away my happiness. You should never allow anyone to take away your peace of mind. I am so grateful for my family and Shahida for getting me over such an awful experience. Shahida is an incredible woman and is inspiring so many women all over the world. It is my aim to educate and help other sufferers, empower them and give them back their peace of mind something that narcissistic abusers will never have.” – Zayn Clyre, Coaching Client, Advocate, Actress, Model.

“I am a therapist living in Dublin, Ireland, and I work with victims of narcissistic abuse. I just want to congratulate you on your site, and to say what a topping article this is. It is full of accurate information for giving hope to what can seem like a hopeless situation when you are a victim of narcissistic abuse.” – Christine Louis de Canonville, therapist and Author of The Three Faces of Evil: Unmasking the Full Spectrum of Narcissistic Abuse

"Shahida, I am so impressed with your writings and blog posts. You are such a brilliant woman, and I know you are helping so many people heal through narcissistic abuse. I just wanted to give you a shout out that I am a therapist who specializes in helping survivors of narcissistic abuse out here in CA. I wanted you to know that I refer my clients to your website, I think that highly of your wisdom. Thanks for making a difference in this world and helping the world go round in positive ways." - Andrea Schneider, LCSW, MSW, Author of Soul Vampires: Reclaiming our Lifeblood After Narcissistic Abuse

"Shahida, I am incredibly impressed with the work you are doing. You have been paving the way for so many survivors to find recovery and from a viewpoint that they can relate to. I have already sent your article [Your Brain on Love, Sex and the Narcissist] to several clients. Excellent information and writing!" - Shannon Thomas, LCSW, Southlake Christian Counseling