The One Bizarre Thing That Usually Causes All Breakups
You two are incompatible this way.
gawrav | Canva What is the number one reason why couples decide to go separate ways? Well, if you believe the most common breakup advice out there, the cause of a breakup isn't that obvious, and how to get over a breakup becomes an even bigger issue. There are thousands upon thousands of different opinions when it comes to finding an answer to why couples decide to end a relationship. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you won’t hear the same nonsense from me that you heard over and over again. I won't tell you that your girlfriend simply needed more time to "find herself," whatever the heck that even means.
I won't lie to you. Instead of feeding you all the fairytale beliefs about relationships and breakups that every couples therapist would tell you to get paid for another hour, I'm here to tell you the truth. Unless there's something serious going on like domestic violence, there is only one reason why couples break up, no matter what they think the true reason is. We are trained by society and especially by the movie industry that breakups are always something dramatic. One person has to do something that hurts the other person, or, even worse, we are made to believe that it is normal to break up because of every little trifle.
- "You forgot my birthday! I'm done!"
- "You never help in the household! I can't take it anymore!"
All of these are just symptoms of a souring relationship, but they're not the real reason you broke up. Your girlfriend might tell you that she needs more space and that she wants to find herself, but in reality, she is simply unsatisfied with the relationship. She might also tell you that you've changed and that you are not made for each other, but she's just unsatisfied with the relationship. What distinguishes a happy woman and, therefore, a happy relationship from an unhappy woman and, therefore, an unhappy relationship? How is it possible that some women are completely satisfied in a relationship while others are completely unsatisfied?
The only true reason for breakups is... your anatomy. No matter what constellation you choose, the reason for breakups always goes back to frustration involving intimacy. I have never talked to a guy who said that he wanted to break up with his girlfriend, even though he was still attracted to her. I have also never talked to a girl who told me that she wants to break up with her boyfriend, even though she still enjoys him in bed. No matter what the person who leaves says and no matter how your partner expresses her frustration, it always goes back to unfulfilled desires: One of you is underappreciated in the bedroom and, therefore, frustrated.
Sebastian Harris is a dating coach and the owner of Global Seducer, a website dedicated to helping men find the woman of their dreams. He has been featured in LifeHack, Thought Catalog, The Urban Dater, and more.