5 Blunt Reasons Passionless Marriages Happen
How to revive your dead relationship.
Peopleimages.com | Canva It's not a fun situation. You could be married to the most incredible person in the world and click with them, but if you aren't having as much intimacy as you'd like, you're missing out. This article will help you solve this frustrating problem. Before I get to all the techniques you can use to fix your passionless marriage or relationship, I need to cover a few important things first. This way, you will fully understand how your marriage became like this in the first place, and how to prevent it from happening again. You may have had a super-passionate relationship when you first started dating your partner, and are now wondering what happened. Or maybe it wasn't even that passionate, but it still fizzled out and now you want answers.
Here are 5 blunt reasons passionless marriages happen:
1. Time makes you too comfortable
As time passes you will naturally become more and more comfortable with your partner. This can be a great thing, but it also has its drawbacks; the biggest one of which is how this "comfortableness" sucks the passion out of your relationship. There's nothing you can do about time passing, but it's important to know that it's a factor.
2. Excitement fizzles out
The brain craves novel experiences. When you get used to something, your brain acts on autopilot and you aren't nearly as excited or engaged as you were previously. So when you know everything about your man, he may not seem as exciting as he once did. The same goes for how he may feel about you. Again, this is something that naturally happens as you spend more time together.
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3. He has low testosterone
If a guy has low testosterone he just simply isn't going to have as much of a drive for intimacy when compared to a guy with high testosterone. A drop in testosterone levels is natural as your man ages, but often it can happen quickly due to stress or other factors. If you suspect this is the reason for your passionless marriage, then your man should get his testosterone levels checked by a doctor.
4. One or both of you were brought up where intimacy was shameful
Another serious reason for passionless relationships is psychological. Many men who have been brought up in conservative, strict religious households can have an adverse view of intimacy and even dislike it. This is usually because they often associate shame and/or guilt with the idea of enjoying intimacy. If you suspect this is the case, then your man may benefit from talking to a psychologist.
5. There's no tension
Tension (or lack thereof) is probably the single biggest problem in passionless marriages. It's something couples often forget about as they grow more comfortable with each other. Instead of drawing out the buildup to intimacy in a fun, agonizing, and pleasurable experience, couples often fall into a routine of "turning up" and expecting it to happen.
Now that you understand how marriages become passionless in the first place, it's time to learn some techniques to fix yours. If you find that your man suffers from shame or has low testosterone, then you're going to need a doctor to fix these problems. For every other problem, you can use one of these techniques.
Here are 4 ways to fix a passionless marriage:
1. Build up tension
When you do it right, your man is going to want to rip your clothes off. Building tension involves doing things that make your man think about intimacy but make it difficult for it to happen.
2. Send flirty text messages
Sending your man flirty text messages out of nowhere is a great way to build tension. Try saying something like, "Couldn't get you out of my head this morning" or "Why are you not here when I need you?" Notice how they aren't explicit, but merely hint at something hot and intimate.
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3. Playfully touch him in places he won't expect
You hug and kiss your man goodbye every single day when he goes to work. This is something that he's going to be comfortable with. So change things up by touching him in places he won't expect and at times that don't necessarily call for it. Try grabbing or pinching his arm as he walks past you or rub your foot on his leg on the couch. But don't do anything else; it'll drive him wild.
4. Flirt in public
The next time you're out with your man in public, try leaning over and whispering something flirty or a little suggestive in his ear. The fact that he can't act on it is a great way to get his mind thinking about what could happen. Tension isn't something that happens overnight, so don't get discouraged if it takes a while for your man to start responding.
Sean Jameson is a writer, relationship expert, and creator of the Bad Girl's Bible.