5 HUGE Reasons Your Partner Refuses To Give You A Blowjob

It may be a mouthful, but for some straight women and gay men, blowjobs just aren't their drink of choice. I may get my gay card revoked for writing this one, but I don't care. And there's a possibility that women who find the male lollipop irresistible could burn me at the stake in effigy, right on my own front lawn, and I still don't care.

Blowjobs aren't woman's or man's best friend. GASP. I know, hard to believe that every woman and gay man isn't salivating at the thought of hunkering down on a bended knee, panting like a puppy dog, waiting to be submissive for purely their guy's pleasure.

As a gay man I can honestly say that blowjobs are quite pleasurable for me, both pitching and receiving. Nonetheless, I have to hand it to my sisters and brothers who take a stand and say, "Um, no! You're not putting that monster (or twig) in my mouth!" Bravo and golf-clap for you for standing your ground against your man's sexual desires. After all, if it were against your taste, why would you submit?

Of course, on the other side of that coin, gay or straight, the partner who rejects the thought of "open mouth, insert penis," can be an assault to a man's masculinity. Get over it, guys! Just because your girl or guy doesn't want to slob your knob doesn't mean you have to immediately start testosterone injections.

Take a deep breath and consider the following.

1. Take a shot at manscaping.

For me, there's nothing attractive about a man's groin that resembles a jungle. To others, the more hair the better. To each their own, but for many women and men faced with "Is he really expecting me to hunt in that jungle for his junk?" it's a real turn-off to end up with pubic hair between your teeth.

2. Ditch the whole "au natural" thing.

In the gay community, there's a tribe that really appreciates the Matthew McConaughey-type with his "au natural" scent — no deodorant and crotches that smell like jocks. I'm not a straight woman, so maybe the same holds true for some of them as well. All that being shared, if your junk stinks, "Why would I eat it?"

If you want your man or woman to consider blowing your pied piper, consider a run to Bath and Body Works. Why not lather up and give your guy or gal a free bottle of their favorite body wash as well?

3. Prove that you're STD-free.

Depending on your relationship, level of trust and where your partner thinks Mr. Happy might have been, there's always the possibility of "He gave me..." If you're going to suggest, require, demand oral sex, be man enough to offer a condom, or documentation that you've got a clean bill of health.

4. Don't try to force your penis down their throat.

A sommelier is known for their years spent becoming knowledgeable in all aspects of wine. Once they taste a wine, they may gag, spit it out and not swallow. It holds true in the world of a fine fellatio as well.

As full-bodied as an erect penis might be, if your partner doesn't find it tastes good or feels that it's being forced down their throat causing them to gag, then they're likely to spit it out. And they sure have the right to say, "Are you crazy? I don't swallow!"

5. Return the favor.

If you want a BJ, you better be ready for an even trade exchange. Many women (remember, I was married to a woman for 13, so I do have some insight) complain that their man wants them to spit dive on their penis, but their man isn't willing to dive into the vajayjay for mutual ecstasy. In other words, equal pay for equal play.

While the ultimate foreplay, aphrodisiac, and knee-shattering orgasm might come from a man getting a masterful or even amateur blowjob, if you're going to expect this from your mate, then be willing to give a little on your end, even if that might mean giving up your end to bring them pleasure.