Dressing For Success—In Love! How To Put Your Best Foot Forward
When you don't look great, you don't feel great. So how can you expect to attract someone?
Your appearance can ignite (or put out) the passion in your relationship. I learned this myself through experience, and you're about to discover four secrets I discovered while living in Italy, Sweden, France and Tunisia. Men and women can use them to be more attractive and be desirable for years to come. After all, when you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, your relationship is healthier.
My moment of realization came after my umpteenth remark in two weeks about being too busy to get a manicure and pedicure. My man finally remarked, "You said you'd never go out wearing chipped nail polish. What happened?"
This may sound trivial, but for a woman who has worked as a fashion designer in New York, as a couture tailor for a German atelier and modeled in Milan, it was embarrassing.
Worse yet, since I teach very successful women world-wide how to use the power of their presence and personality to attract the right, highest quality people personally and professionally as a personal development coach — it hurt to realize I wasn't walking my talk.
How Men And Women Fall Into Style Ruts And Poor Grooming
At the start of a relationship we show up as our best selves, but as the newness wears off we tend to relax a bit. Work happens. Kids happen. Fatigue happens. Life happens.
The nails go undone. You start wearing a ponytail. Then you're sporting a baseball cap and running to the grocery store — complete with flip-flops and sweats. One day, you're staring in the mirror asking, "Who is that frumpy woman?"
Men are not immune. I've talked to men who work so much, they skip showers. I wasn't surprised. Quite a few women complain about their man's poor hygiene. So what's the big deal if you don't take a shower for a day? What harm can running around in flip-flops and sweats do?
4 Ways Poor Grooming and Style Ruts Ruin Relationships
They lower your self-image, confidence and energy. When you don't look (or smell) great, you don't feel great. This makes it extra hard for your partner to feel positively about you.
They make your partner feel like they are taken for granted. When you don't make an effort to be attractive to your partner, he or she will consciously or subconsciously feel you don't care enough about yourself or them to make an effort.
They make you feel like buddies. Letting it all hang out is okay with your friends, but too many days wearing sloppy clothing around your partner can turn physical attraction into a friend zone.
They cause you to drift apart. Going too many days without physical attraction is like going too many days without a sale in business. Eventually the company folds. Keep reading...
More personal development coach advice from YourTango:
- Bad Body Image? 15 Ways To Improve Your Self-Esteem
- 3 Simple Steps To Improve Your Self-Confidence
- Love: Tips & Expert Advice
Luckily, we can learn a lot from successful and stylish pairs around the world who have mastered the art of looking and feeling good in life and love. Here's a list to help pull you out of your rut.
4 Tips to Ignite and Keep Attraction Going for Years to Come:
Tip #1 – Lounge in comfort and style like the Swedes
One of the things I love about shopping in Stockholm is the abundance of stylish, cleanly designed, comfy loungewear.
Why start with loungewear? It is a huge challenge for most men and women. We think since we're at home, we can throw on any old thing. How you dress at home is a reflection of your sense of pride and self-worth — whether you live alone or not.
Tip #2 – Wear foundations that make you sing ooh-la-la like the French
Our French sisters have a love affair with matching lingerie sets. And with good reason: this truly is a foundation that boosts your confidence and sex appeal, even if no one can see it. It’s all about the energy!
Ladies, throw out the granny panties and invest in some gorgeous bras and panties. Men, ditch your boxers or briefs as soon as they show signs of wear or discoloration.
Tip #3 – Be daring, gorgeous & mix it up like the Italians
I was watching a reality TV show featuring married couples. The wife of a famous entertainer had a collection of over 300 ponytails. Each one brought out a different personality. Venom was a stripper. Dina was a dominatrix. This may be an extreme example, but her husband loved her fantasy and appreciated her effort to keep their relationship hot.
This story reminded me of the Italians. They hold the prize for being bold, daring and sensual when it comes to style. Men and women both know how to mix it up and stay out of style ruts.
Tip #4 – Submit to scents and sensuality like the Tunisians
Years ago, I discovered perfumed oils while wandering through the magical bazaars of Tunisia. It made me wonder why we ladies would want to smell like thousands of other women. Instead, I started creating unique intoxicating signature scents.
You don't have to travel to North Africa or the Middle East to do it. Just search the Internet for stores (on and offline) that sell perfumed oils. Create a unique one and wear it daily. And don't be afraid to mix it up. I have a couple signature scents for each season.
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