The IPhone And Your Relationship

With the recent announcement of the new iPhone5, we are all talking about how technology affects our lives. Most people have strong opinions, especially about the effect of technology on our relationships. I've said it regarding Facebook and I will say it again: It is not the technology; it's how we use it. Facebook Doesn't Ruin Relationships, People Do. [EXPERT]

I'll admit, I still love my old iPhone3GS and I just ordered the new iPhone5. But, some of the newer features have me wondering what troubles they've been causing in relationships and what new troubles we will see with features of iOS 6. 

This first feature strikes a chord with me because I'm pretty sure my ex-boyfriend designed it. It's an iPhone feature that lets you ignore a call and reply with prewritten text. Although, instead of "Can't talk right now..." his version of the auto text would probably say "I'm watching television and I don't feel like even saying hello to you right now..." Don't get me wrong, it is a great feature and I could see how it would be practical in many situations. But, I'm sure his new girlfriend won't be a fan. 

I have some concerns about using iCloud, too. Using PhotoStream to automatically transfer your new photos to all your Apple devices may seem like a great idea, unless you like to send sexy photos to your significant other. In that case, not only will every photo you send be saved on all of your devices, but so will the first 10 totally unsexy versions of the photo. The versions you’d never want anyone to see. And they'll get stored out there in the cloud, as well. Better remember to disconnect your Wi-Fi before your photo shoot, so you can delete the photos before they sync!

And at first thought, the Find My iPhone feature sounded great. (Unnecessary for most responsible adults, but great for drunk, partying twentysomethings.) Then I realized that couples who share an Apple ID, or who know each other's passwords to share music, could use it to stalk one another. You can simply log in to iCloud online with your partner's ID and the Find My iPhone feature will give you a precise map of the phone's location. You can even have a message appear on the phone, seemingly from the phone itself, saying, "We better get home. I think we're in trouble."

But, as a proponent of healthy, trusting relationships, I would also like to point out a few great iPhone apps and how they can add to your relationship.

FaceTime calls are great for romantics, like my friend's husband. He misses seeing her during his long workdays (aww!) and FaceTime makes it easy for them to video chat from their iPhones or iPads. It's also great for taking Skype sex to the next level, as the iPhone is much more portable than any laptop. And with the new iOS 6 software, FaceTime will work over cellular networks as well as Wi-Fi.

I'm also a big fan of iMessage. Even without the read receipts turned on, I love knowing that my text was, in fact, delivered. The "…" tells me that the other person is composing a message, which helps prevent multiple thought threads in a conversation. And I love when we're sending flirty texts and I see the "…" disappear then reappear. He's trying to compose a great message. (Again, aww!)

I wish some of my friends knew about Pair, an app that creates a private, shared timeline between two people. We all know those annoying couples on Facebook who feel the need to profess their love for each other constantly, and those couples who like to argue via Facebook. With Pair, they can keep that information to the only people who should care: each other. They could post photos and maps, share a To Do list, and even “Thumbkiss” (my friend’s husband would probably love this app!). And it really is for a true pair, as you can only have one shared timeline with this app. (Let’s all say it together, aww!)

And it should go without saying that one of the simplest, oldest apps is a must-use in any relationship. Calendar is a very easy way to keep track of birthdays, anniversaries, and special events. Type it in. Set a reminder. Done.

Of course there are plenty of apps to spice things up, give advice, and test your love. Apps to determine if your partner is cheating, if your voice is sexy, and if you should break up. But it’s not the iPhone or the apps that’ll make or break your relationship; it’s all how you use them.

@RebeccaAMarquis is the author of How to Be a Good Boyfriend: 34 ways to keep her from getting annoying, jealous, or crazy, and offers dating humor and advice on her new Facebook page: facebook.com/RebeccaAMarquis.