8 Ways To Celebrate The Single Life — Even If You’re Tired Of Being Alone
Change your focus and you'll discover how much love you have in your life.
Erriko Boccia/unsplash Are you tired of being single? Feeling frustrated that your person hasn’t shown up yet? Are you sick of meeting and dating the wrong men online over and over again?
This isn’t a time to focus on what you don’t have.
Instead, focus on celebrating you and enjoying this time of your life as a single woman.
So much of life is what you make of it. Why not take this time to step into a bigger vision of yourself and your life? As the saying goes, "There’s no time like the present!"
When you focus on what’s good in your life and use your time to learn and grow, then no matter what happens — you win!
So, how can you use this time to discover, learn, explore, and celebrate your life?
Here are 8 ways to celebrate your single life, even if you're tired of being alone.
1. Explore what you are really passionate about.
When you are in a relationship, you have another person’s needs, wants, and desires to account for.
But when you are single, you have more freedom to follow your whims and wants. You get to decide how you spend your time, your energy, and your resources.
How you spend your resources is the biggest indicator of what is really important to you. If you are numbing yourself out with binge-watching TV every night or making sure you get in your two or three glasses of wine after work, then you are allowing your life to be small.
How can you explore new ideas, new places, and new experiences to keep your passion for learning and growing in life? You don’t have to travel the world or jump out of an airplane to stretch yourself and grow.
You can take a class, try a new workout, or even explore parts of your town you’ve never been to before.
Being curious is the key to staying young and alive. There is nothing more attractive than a person who is curious and passionate about life.
Cynicism will never bring you what you want. It will only protect you from experiencing anything new.
So, if you truly are tired of being single, then being open to new experiences will open you up to meet new people!
Every person you meet knows more people you haven’t met yet. Expanding your life expands the circle of people you know.
2. Make peace with your past.
Whether it is a difficult relationship with a parent or a broken heart from a past lover, your past wounds keep you stuck and are in the way of you connecting with new people.
Take this time to introspect and find the "golden nugget" from your experiences.
When you can find the gold in your past struggles, you become more open, more loving, and more connected to your soul and to your spiritual journey in this life.
Every person has lived through circumstances that are difficult. Don’t let your experiences defeat you. It’s the meaning of those experiences that matter most to determining your future.
And you get to decide the meaning you give to those past experiences.
Can you find the learning from those painful experiences and open your heart even wider than before? When your heart breaks, it breaks open to hold more love.
3. Collect valuable data from your dating experiences.
We recently spoke with a woman who told us a man from an online dating site had scammed her. When we asked for details, she revealed that he hadn’t received any money from her or any information from her that he could use against her.
She had met a man who was attempting to scam her, but he had been unsuccessful. Her focus was only on what had gone wrong.
We pointed out that he had been a great lesson for her. He taught her what to look for and how to avoid being catfished in the future, and it hadn’t cost her anything but some of her time.
Putting energy on your struggles and strife, and constantly sharing your dating horror stories suck the life right out of your desire to meet someone.
Dating can be challenging or it can be fun — you get to decide.
Focus on the nice men you meet and the positive experiences you have. Learn lessons from the negative experiences and move on with your journey.
Life is too short to let some fake person online deter you from what you really want.
4. Give your time and energy to the people in your life now.
Whether it is your friends, your family, or both, being single gives you time to invest in all of your relationships.
Use this time to clean up past miscommunications or misunderstandings, or create even deeper connections with the people in your life.
When you are on your deathbed, you won’t be worried that you didn’t put in more time at the office. You’ll be reflecting on your relationships. Don’t wait until then to reach out and re-connect.
Human beings are social animals. We are not meant to be alone. We are members of families and we live in communities.
Open up and connect with those in your life who are important to you. If you’re tired of being single, reconnecting with an old friend may open the door to an introduction to someone new for you to date, too.
5. Meet new people and make new friends.
It tends to be more difficult to meet new people the older you get. Your habits and routines are well-worn grooves, and you go to the same places and interact with the same people.
What if you put effort into meeting new people and making new friends?
Middle-aged men are currently suffering from a crisis of loneliness in our society. Interacting with people virtually is not the way to create a connection.
Nothing is real until you meet face-to-face. It’s true for dates, as well as for making friends.
Get out into the world and talk to new people and make an effort to make new friends.
You can sit in a coffee shop with a book or a magazine (not a device) and smile at everyone who comes through the door. Make a remark about someone’s shoes or jewelry, and start a conversation with a stranger.
That stranger you befriend could be the person who introduces you to your soulmate.
6. Stop filling your time with the wrong person.
Recently, a client asked us if she should add a guy back into her dating rotation. When we asked her what had changed, she didn’t have an answer.
Basically, a guy she already knew was not a good match circled back to her (over a pair of $20 sunglasses).
Many men simply want companionship. It’s not an ideal relationship, it’s not a soulmate connection — it’s easy, it’s nice, it’s comfortable, but it’s not what you really want, either.
You won’t meet your soulmate when you are getting some of your needs met by someone else. Energetically, that person is taking up the space that would be filled by someone better suited for you.
Stop spending your precious time in dead-end relationships. Wishing and hoping that someone will change for you is like wishing and hoping that the sun will come out on a rainy day.
Ultimately, you’ll just end up exhausted and frustrated that you wasted your time and energy.
Take a risk and leave that dead-end relationship. You’ll free up your heart to allow someone new to come along. You’ll also free up your time to explore some of the other suggestions we’ve given above.
7. Practice keeping and setting boundaries.
When you are single, you have fewer obligations and less concern about how to balance your own time.
You don’t have a history of messy emotional entanglements and can practice from a clean slate, setting and keeping healthy boundaries.
If you’re tired of being single, the best thing you can do is practice healthy boundaries with everyone you meet.
Boundaries are becoming more and more blurred the more time we spend in a relationship with someone. The history between you and your partner clouds things.
Use your time being single to practice setting and keeping boundaries with very little at stake.
Use this time to practice saying "no" to anything you no longer want in your life. Re-evaluate relationships and cut off those people who expect a lot from you, but don’t reciprocate when you need them.
Distance yourself or remove altogether the people who suck your time and emotional energy, and instead focus on those who add joy and peace to your life.
Being single means that you don’t have to focus on the needs of your partner’s family and, instead, you can focus on your own.
The more comfortable you become in setting boundaries with your family and friends, the more confident you will be in your ability to set and keep boundaries with your beloved.
Respectful love has a boundary because 1 + 1 = 2.
8. Look forward to your beloved relationship with anticipation and joy.
Taking time to learn, grow, release the past, and focus on becoming the best version of you allows you to truly appreciate that right person when they come along. You will have a different appreciation for a relationship that you consciously create.
"Love by accident" means that you commit to the next person who makes you feel good, whether or not they are the right person for you long term.
Getting clear on what you want and why you are choosing to make a commitment to a partner allows you to have a 40-thousand-foot view that will serve you in the relationship.
You and your beloved will both change and grow over time. The only way to stay on the same page is to choose a partner who shares your values.
The magic will be there at the beginning no matter what, it’s the selection process that allows you to share decades together and still be madly in love.
Orna and Matthew Walters are soulmate coaches, soul partners, and the founders of Creating Love on Purpose. Their work has helped thousands of readers connect with what it takes to find a true soul partnership, and they can help you, too. You can download a complimentary copy of their e-book, Recognizing Mr. Right on their website.