7 Ways To STOP Being Such A Mean Girl (& Become A REAL Woman)

While getting read by a Angel, a spiritual medium, when he got to the The House of Friendships, he picked up a card from the row — the Queen of Swords.

“Be careful," he said. "There is tremendous envy from certain women in your social circle. They smile to your face and gossip behind your back.”

“YES!” I blurted. “It’s terrible! I don’t even know what they are angry about, but they are nasty. They ignore me, give me dirty looks. They make sarcastic remarks. Like the mean girls in high school — only they’re in their 40s.”

He flipped over three more cards for clarification. 

“They want to bring you down. They don’t realize how many peaks and valleys you’ve navigated to achieve your greatness. Eventually, it will pass.”

Anyone who knows me well would say I definitely did not follow the traditional route. Thanks to a fraught childhood, I had to become a responsible professional and adult quickly. I finished college in my late 20s and quickly became one of the few female CFOs in Manhattan’s real estate industry. 

I worked in Tokyo, Bollywood, Hollywood and later returned to the New York tri-state area. I married, divorced, experienced great love and wicked heartbreak, started businesses, made money, lost money, made great choices and really poor ones.

The women who hate me make me stronger because they force me to look at myself. Ironically, they force me to see my beauty, respect it and wear it proudly. 

I have come to believe that TRUE adults or “REAL women” possess these 7 attributes:

1. A REAL woman exhibits authenticity.

In the corporate environment, many people have two faces: high on power at the office — kinder once they return home. But demanding respect by force doesn’t work.

When a woman isn't authentic, she ultimately loses her own self-respect and that of others. Changing who you are so you can please others means you're immature. Being authentic means expressing yourself from your core — your best self, aligned with your value system.

2. A REAL woman strives for integrity WITHIN.

Integrity means truly possessing the attributes you claim are true about you. The contradiction between what you say to yourself and what you tell everyone else is a sign that you have no self-respect. It creates a gap between your soul and your personality — and it feels awful.

Take action to consistently live according to the attributes you subscribe to. Your happiness will skyrocket.

3. A REAL woman trusts her intuition.

Well-meaning parents, peers, media and political leaders constantly tell us how we should think or behave. Many of us learn the hard way that if you don’t respect your intuition, you will learn a tough lesson. 

Women are blessed with natural intuition. Though it's often discounted by society, we must respect it, because our intuition to make our lives more effortless and graceful. 

4. A REAL woman behaves courageously and thinks for herself.

A real woman doesn’t wait for Prince Charming to rescue her or direct her life. If you are to aim for greatness, you must break free of societal parameters and follow your bliss. To be courageous and independent means you are NEVER the victim – you are in charge of your OWN life.

5, A REAL woman thrives in her femininity and beauty.

A real woman is unapologetic about her beauty and sensuality. The difference between a girl and a woman is that a girl uses sexuality to manipulate — to gain something — while a woman is proud of her sensuality, not afraid of it. She respects her sexuality and expressed the beauty she feels inside everyday.

6. A REAL woman takes responsibility for her choices and does the work to improve herself.

It is amazing how some people project their worst qualities onto others, unable to see that they are their own wounds reflected back at them. By belittling people, they feel bigger, but really such behavior diminishes the qualities they long to possess.

A real woman knows the only way to break a pattern is to identify it and do the work to overcome it.  This takes courage, but the payoff is huge. Clean life. Clean love.

7. A REAL woman loves deeply and unconditionally.

Women are blessed with an accessible emotional system. How can we expect our loved ones to grow into wise adults if we withdraw love when our feelings get hurt? Unconditional love is about seeing the beauty of the other person. It’s not preferential attachment — but universal understanding.

A real woman loves deeply despite the risks, knowing the rewards of true love are what make a real woman radiant and thoroughly alive.

Noreen Ehrlich is a lifestyle and love attraction coach and CPA in Greenwich, CT with expertise in how to live life to its fullest by taking charge of yourself and going after your dreams.  Learn more at www.dreamtownct.com.