If You're Going To Freaking Ghost Someone, At Least Do It The Right Way
Get more creative with your disappearing acts.
getty By Daniella Appolonia
Okay, so he’s just not that into you. He’s allowed to be because, in all honesty, sometimes we’re just not that into them either. Believe it or not, dating works both ways, and we don’t always follow proper “breakup protocol" either.
But suddenly vanishing into thin air? Rude. This 21st Century dating phenomenon better known as “ghosting” can get annoying (and frustrating) super fast.
But what is ghosting? And how do you know if you are ghosting someone?
We live in this interconnected world where it’s easier than ever to be in constant communication with one another, but it seems we’ve somehow lost the ability to be honest with each other about our real feelings. When it seems like things won’t work out, the easiest way to say it is... to not say anything at all.
Frankly, it’s understandable. We ghost for the same reason we procrastinate on homework, skip the gym, and rewear dirty clothes instead of doing laundry: It’s always easier to not do something than it is to do it.
Why bother doing something you don’t want to do when you could just not do it and achieve the same results? Can’t argue with the logic there.
Unfortunately, there are those pesky little things like respect and basic human decency that tend to complicate things a bit. Sure, ghosting may make things easier (possibly for both parties!), but if you’ve been seeing someone with some regularity for any reasonable length of time, it stands to reason that you owe them a little more than a complete disappearing act.
While we probably all recognize this on some level, men sometimes just don’t know the proper steps to take when they want to break it off with us. Instead of figuring it out, it’s easier to just, well... not. They get freaked out, so they ghost. It happens to the best of us.
So instead of letting the Caspers of the world get us down, how about a list of ways guys can get a little more creative with their disappearing acts? Here goes:
1. Watch Ghostbusters with us before you plan on silently exiting our lives forever.
2. Feed us first. Asking us to grab pizza via text with a ghost emoji will do.
3. Send a creative Snapchat, because it will soon disappear... like you will.
4. Send a ghosting care package to help emotionally prep us (Thanks in advance!).
5. Write us a funny handwritten note — the opposite of a love letter — to ease the pain.
But also realize that if you plan to ghost someone, be prepared for the fallout.
Daniella Appolonia is a NYC-based writer and comedian who is currently studying improv at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. Follow her random thoughts on twitter at @daniellaapp or head on over to daniellaappolonia.com to read more of her writing.