The One Rule To Follow To Get Him Craving Your Sex

I hate rules. I hate telling women to follow them. I like offering mindful 'dos' and 'don'ts' that women can use as guidelines to make sure they are on track with acting like one half of a considerate, respectful, loving, and caring whole.

Rules, on the other hand, seem stifling and repressing to a woman’s individuality. I think, however, that the following rule is very empowering and actually helps relieve women of stifling insecurities and releases repressed sexual urges.

So I will allow myself to suggest it.

Here it is, the rule to getting him to crave you: STOP trying to be sexy!

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Your sex appeal in a man’s eyes has everything to do with how ALIVE and UNBRIDLED your Sex Spirit is.

What’s your Sex Spirit you ask?

Your Sex Spirit is the part of you that loves and ENJOYS sex. 

When you start obsessing over your body image and your level of attractiveness, all in an attempt to appear "sexy" to men, you are slowly killing your Sex Spirit.

When you buy high-fashion magazines full of glossy, air-brushed photos of runway models and famous actresses, and then you STARE at their bodies, hair, make-up and facial features, wishing you could look that way, your Sex Spirit is wilting away like the petals of an abused rose.

A Luminous Sex Spirit radiates off women who allow their thoughts to break free from society's idea of beauty and from inhibition and self-judgment.

It wildly emits from women who aren’t ashamed of their urges and who instead give their bodies full permission to be turned on at the thought of steamy, sweaty, yummy, juicy lovemaking.

When your insecurities and harsh inner voices are at work, your Sex Spirit dims. You STOP loving the bouncy, free, fun, tender, soulful, intimate side of sex.

Instead, you start desperately clawing at ways to feel better about yourself. Your mind starts using sex and looking "sexy" like a weapon to validate your worth as a woman and as a person worth loving.

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Your mind puts a lot of burdensome weight on sex appeal.

It makes you feel like you have to be sexy and you have to turn men on to have status as a female, instead of you just feeling sexual in your femininity, deeply pleasured by great lovemaking and confident that a man will find that arousing.

A woman with a luminous Sex Spirit isn’t stuck in her corrosive thoughts about her sex appeal. She doesn’t have to dress provocatively if she doesn’t want to. She doesn't have say suggestive, attention-grabbing things if she doesn’t want to.

This is because she doesn’t obsess over whether or not men think she is sexy. She just cares about pleasurable lovemaking with the man she trusts and cares for.

And this "freedom from the chains of judgment" makes her very attractive to all men.

Her sex appeal becomes about her vivacious, life-lusting, easily-excitable, womanly energy, instead of about her looks. Therefore, she is sexually appealing no matter what she wears or how toned her body is.

In fact, a woman with a luminous Sex Spirit could be wearing a frumpy sweater and a pair of jeans and will still attract the attention of men.

There will be something about her that they can’t quite put their finger on. And that something is a vibe that screams: "I can get turned on in bed, like you wouldn’t believe, and my body knows what it wants.

Oh boy, men love a woman with a lively Sex Spirit. It makes them eager to find her buttons, push them and see what happens!

So how can you nourish your Sex Spirit?

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First, stop trying to be perfect. Stop trying to look like an ideal body shape in your head or mold yourself into looking like what you THINK men want.

Stop being so hard on yourself about your self-image and start thinking about and finding out what turns you on.

Think about how pleasurable orgasms are or how delicious a man’s heavy, warm breaths feel on your shoulder when a hard-bodied male is on top of you in bed, caressing you atop a bed of red roses; kissing your breasts; maybe even spanking on your tushie.

Don’t judge it, just discover what it is and take time before bed to go to your little filing cabinet of things and pull out one of these fantasy images and linger in it for a while.

Even going to bed naked, thinking about these images while your cotton sheets caress your soft, curvy body. Your little filing cabinet will start to give your body permission to STOP feeling ashamed of being sexual.

Find ways to feel good about life and feel good in your body. Work out because you love how it makes your muscles warm and increases your sexual appetite, not because you hate the cellulite on your thighs and think your man secretly criticizes it in his head.

Find out what makeup, clothing, hairstyles turn YOU on when you wear them.

I love red lipstick. I love the idea of my lips looking like a strawberry that’s ripe and ready to be plucked. I wear it for this reason. It makes me feel sexual in my body.

I don’t care how men see my red lips, I care how my red lipstick makes my lips feel full and tender and how it makes my whole body feel like it’s on the prowl for a man who dares to pluck "my sweet strawberry."

And guess what? Know how many times I’ve heard men say, "Normally I don’t like bright, red lipstick, but you wear it well."

Find ways every day to pamper your body and to dress your body so that YOU feel turned on inside. And Babydoll, your Sex Spirit will light up like it’s the Vegas Strip at midnight on a Saturday.

Kristina Marchant is a relationship and dating coach, helping women gain confidence and learn to connect with men on a soulful, honest, safe and sexy level. Sign Up For Her Goddess Advice Newsletter.