3 Easy Ways To Meet People IRL When You're Sick Of Online Dating
What you have to do if you're tired of meeting guys online.
Jack Sparrow | Pexels Do you want to date someone you've met face-to-face, but don't know where to begin? If online dating sites and apps don't hold any appeal for you — or you've tried it and it just didn't work — there are some simple ways to meet new people and start dating. Regardless of your reason for not wanting to date online, if you want to try meeting someone in real life, then there are simple, effective ways to get a date and meet plenty of new people.
How can I meet a quality guy in real life? What signals can I give to have him approach me? What do I say? I always clam up around guys I'm attracted to! How do I get him to ask me out? How many times have these questions gone through your head? Wouldn't it be great if there was a guide to help you navigate step-by-step through ditching dating apps and getting the skills and confidence to start meeting people in real life?
Well, look no further! You can jump-start your offline dating experience and successfully meet people face-to-face. You already possess everything you need to successfully find the right person for you — without apps, profiles, or swiping. It all starts with becoming more approachable. Here are some simple ways you can meet new people and get a date in real life without using online dating to make it happen.
Here are 3 easy ways to meet people IRL when you're sick of online dating:
1. Set your intention before you go out to meet people
The foundation of being approachable lies in having an open mindset. Show me a woman who naturally attracts men to her, and I'll show you a woman who's resolved to consistently keep an open mind. Going a step further: Before stepping out, think about who you'd like to meet and why. It doesn't always have to be "get a date" — maybe you're just getting back into the dating scene and want to get your feet wet with talking to strangers.
In that case, think of this as a practice run and set an easy intention like, "Make two people feel good today." That could involve giving a genuine compliment, asking how someone's day is going, or just flashing an authentic smile to someone who looks like they could use it. Take a breather and set a quick intention — make errands day your dating playground! Setting an intention will get your thoughts aligned so the universe knows what you intend to attract and will help make some magic happen!
2. Dress to impress
It's true. When you look good, you feel good. When you wear something you feel confident in, that confidence spreads to other parts of you, too, like your posture and conversation skills. And let's be honest, people tend to be more attracted to others who are confident, and who put a little effort into their appearance. I mean, who'd catch your eye more: a guy in a ratty t-shirt or one in a nice, fitted button-down shirt?
Don't just save that little red dress for Saturday night out — wear it to the grocery store! Another important tip is to dress not only for confidence but also to spark a conversation. Now, think back for a second… have you ever had a random guy comment on something you're wearing, like your earrings or your bright red dress? Chances are, that was his (possibly one and only) way of starting a conversation with you.
Photo: Yuri Manei/Pexels
Men are visual creatures, so if they want to engage with you, there's a big chance they'll comment on something you’re wearing. So why not make it super easy for them? Try to include at least one unique accessory or bold color in every outfit. It could be anything: A necklace, a bracelet, earrings, a scarf, a hat, your shoes ... whatever feels right at the moment. Choose something that shows off your mood or personality a bit. Then when the compliment comes, it's almost like he's complimenting you (what a great way to start a conversation!). As you're out in public sporting your piece, be on the lookout for comment drive-bys.
A good rule of thumb: if a guy approaches you in any way, assume he has some level of romantic interest in you until it's proven otherwise. That way, you'll always assume the best and never miss another one of those opportunities. You can find a celebrity or icon with your coloring and body type and look for patterns across their different outfits that flatter their specific figure. Again, dressing up does not mean you have to wear lipstick every time you step foot outside. Just start with something that shows off your personality and gives you an extra little boost of confidence.
3. Spend time by yourself out in public
Men are petrified of approaching you. Let's start with a fundamental offline dating truth: Alone = Approachable. According to Dr. Phil, the number one fear people have is rejection. If there are other people around, the prospect of public humiliation becomes even scarier for him. It's really hard to go up to a random person, think of something clever (yet not sleazy) to say, and wait to see if you’re going to be accepted or made to feel like a total creeper.
Especially with other people watching you. Most of the times I've been approached by men were when I was doing something solo. Being alone really increases your chances of having a guy approach you. It made it that much easier for them to make a move because the fear of public rejection was lowered, there was no group of girlfriends to wade through, and they weren't interrupting a conversation.
Like the time I had a dinner date with a friend at an Italian restaurant and (purposefully) showed up about 20 minutes early. I headed to the bar and strategically sat between two guys who were both there by themselves. My first move: Keeping my phone in my purse — and this step is essential.
I know it's hard to do and can feel like you're losing an appendage, but it's doable. People did it all the time up until ten years ago! Not sure where to look or what to do once your phone is away? Try talking to the bartender, watching the TV behind the bar, or simply enjoying a quiet moment to yourself after a long day at work. This will make you approachable and make men feel comfortable with coming and starting a conversation with you.
A quick tip: 20 minutes is the perfect amount of time to show up early somewhere and have this happen to you too — whether in a bar, restaurant, lobby, or anywhere people are. It gives just enough opportunity to either strike up a conversation with a random person, or, worst-case scenario, allow you to enjoy a quiet moment to yourself. Best of all, you have a reason for being there. You just "happened" to arrive a tad early. If you're the shy type, grab a friend for support as you try out some of the other tips. Just make sure you're allowing room (in both mindset and body language) for others to approach both of you.
Camille Virginia is a dating expert, coach, and author of The Offline Dating Method. She has been featured in The Atlantic, Elle, BBC, and more.