Sleeping With A Womanizer? Wake Up!

You are married, and this is the third time you have had this fight in a week. He is cheating. You know he is cheating. He knows you know, and is becoming less and less defensive. He thinks he has a right. He thinks it’s part of being a “guy”. It may be part of being a guy, but it isn’t part of being “your guy”. What is going on?

Unfortunately, you may be married to a womanizer. Womanizers are as old as Casanova. You’ve heard the stories and many men have tried to fill "Casanova’s shoes." He was a "lady killer" from Venice. The story reports that he wined and dined women, charming them and making them feel beautiful all for the sake of getting them in bed. The next morning, Casanova would wake and do it all over again.

Have you heard the other part of the story? Casanova struggled with very low self-esteem and the only way he could make himself feel better about being in his body were sexual conquests. It most likely made Casanova (and the woman he was with) feel very good for a short while. Casanova had another interesting more unknown family dynamic. He (like most womanizers) had a very non-existent relationship with his father. In fact, many womanizers have no male mentors that they can relate to as a child. This makes them feel insecure about who they are as men. Understanding this aspect of a womanizer can help a woman deal with being in relationship with one

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How to deal with being in a relationship with a womanizer?

• You cannot give him therapy. Bite your tongue and leave. Don’t look back, do not reconsider. He most likely will not change (if he does it will take years of psychotherapy).
• If you decide to stay with him, don’t ever sleep with him. If you do, he will be gone shortly.
• Don’t fool yourself into thinking that if you marry him he will make a great father. He won’t! This man will never be faithful to you, the mother of his children. If you have daughters, you will raise girls who think this is how all men treat their wife. If you have sons they will be distant from their dad and they will think they have to be like him to be married.

Remember…womanizers are masters at expressing empathy and understanding women’s feelings. They will let you vent so you feel relaxed and safe. Then he makes his move and before you know it, you are making the bed and he is no longer in it!

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