5 Odd Behaviors That Are Actually Signs Of An Unrecognized Flirting Genius
Master flirters know these tactics in and out.
rilueda | Canva If you're really into the new guy you just met, you might have some questions about how to show him you like him without being needy, clingy, or freaking him out in a way that causes him to head for the hills. How much do you reveal and when?
This guy could be the man you're out with while you're reading this, the waiter serving you during girls' night out, your oldest guy friend, or a stranger at Starbucks. Use these flirting tips to attract any guy and become a master flirter; we think he'll get the picture.
Here are five odd behaviors that are actually signs of a flirting genius:
1. Complaining as a form of bonding
Find something small or insignificant that bothers both of you. Maybe the giant deer head on the wall that you both laughed about. Poking fun at the same things helps you get closer, and it also puts you on the same team. Research from 2018 indicates it's even a sign of a healthy relationship.
Of course, you don't want to turn into "Debbie Downer" and engage him in a negative rant. Rather, this is where your sense of humor blends with making a connection and can create a sense of fun-loving and flirtatious camaraderie.
2. Complimenting, but genuinely
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If you think guys don't like or crave compliments, you are mistaken. Ask him where he got it. If he says he sometimes needs another opinion, offer to be that opinion-giver.
What else should you compliment him on? One YouGov survey found that people like to be complimented on their kindness by their potential love interest.
3. Using your body language to your advantage
Make genuine, consistent eye contact. Let him know you're paying attention to what he's saying. One study from 2020 tells us how eye contact is an indication of attraction. Smile often when you're with him (and not at the guy behind him). Smile at him.
4. Never interrupting with your story that's better
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If he's sharing that he went hiking in Joshua Tree, don't share about how you did that too, but what was awesome was your trip to Yosemite. Truly listen and reflect on what you hear him saying.
One University of Rochester study states how being a good listener is considered an attractive trait to have. In this case, you could respond with, "It sounds like Joshua Tree was truly beautiful. What is it that you'll never forget about that trip?"
5. Refusing to follow the 'rules' of texting
Don't wait two days to text him back. The good men don't want to play games and will be completely turned off if you follow "the rules."
If you think you're playing hard to get and that he will know you like him and are doing just that by ignoring him, chances are what he really may be thinking is this:
- You don't know how to check your phone.
- You're waiting too long to text him back because you're a game player.
- You aren't interested in seeing him.
- You don't have your phone with you because you're at the gym, in a meeting, driving, and can't text back, or some other appropriate excuse.
You can include these legitimate reasons in your text back to him, so he doesn't think you were purposely waiting to write him back. If you don't know what to say, something is better than nothing. I can't tell you how many clients make game-changing mistakes that result from ignoring someone they like, intentionally or by accident.
It's easy to let a guy know you like him. Remember, the good guys want to know that they make you happy and that you're interested. It really can be that simple!=,
Marni Battista is a Los Angeles-based certified life coach, the founder of Dating with Dignity and The Institute for Living Courageously, and the author of dating advice for women.