5 Phrases Women Use (And What They Really Mean)
Things aren't always straightforward.
Jacob Lund | Canva Listening is a much more active process than hearing, and we all do it differently. Men tend to talk about their needs and women from their feelings. It's nobody's fault, and it doesn't mean that one gender is inferior. However, we have a better chance of avoiding disastrous miscommunication if we are aware of this fact. Sometimes men are guilty of not saying enough. In other words, "Women can't hear what men don't say." And women, well, we are a little bit guilty of not always saying what we mean, but it's only because we want you to just get us!
Here are 5 phrases women use, and what they really mean:
1. "Fine."
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. Men generally think it means that they should shut up (and they're right).
2. "Nothing."
This is usually an answer when you ask, "What's wrong?" But the word "nothing" pretty much always means "something" and men feel on their guard immediately upon hearing it uttered. It's usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn men inside out, upside down, and backward. "Nothing" signals an argument that will last "five minutes" and end with the word "fine."
3. "We need to talk" And "I've been thinking ... "
This means, "You need to listen quietly while I tell you all the ways you've been messing up."
4. "That guy over there hit on me."
A.K.A. "Pay attention to me and don't take me for granted because that man over there will happily take your place." When feeling insecure, women like to remind men of their worth by pointing out they're high value to others.
5. "What?!"
When she says this in a certain sharp tone of voice, it's not because she didn't hear what you said; it's her way of giving you a chance to change what you said. (We suggest you do it FAST.) You also can't forget that what you say is sometimes interpreted by women very differently than what you meant. A man's well-intentioned, "Is everything okay? You look tired," is more often than not interpreted as, "You look like garbage." Or when you say, "I'll do it in a minute," when asked to do some task around the house, she hears, "You might as well do it yourself because I have no intention of ever doing it."
Although all these examples involve gender stereotypes, that does not mean that they don't happen or that something very similar doesn't happen quite often. We need to think very carefully about how we communicate. Actively listening is key to success, as is keeping a cool head and realizing that there are essential differences in the way we communicate our needs. After all, falling in love is easy and very natural. Staying in love and building a lasting relationship requires a great deal of work and effort.
Lorna Poole is an international coach and professional speaker. She empowers women to love beyond fear, pain, and regret to attract the partner they truly deserve.