8 Tiny Behaviors That Make Men Not Into You
You have to play it cool.
Shahzin Shajid | Unsplash Many men have built-in radars to help them spot a single woman who's needy or desperate. Modern dating advice will tell you to steer clear of these behaviors in order to avoid being called a "crazy girl" or being accused of otherwise obsessiveness.
Here are 8 things you do that make men not into you:
1. You tell a guy you like him too soon.
As women we tend to think "future," and we think it very quickly. We can picture the day he meets our family, gets down on one knee and the day we get to wear our favorite white dress.
Men don't think like this. They rather think, "Let's just take it one day at a time and see how it goes. If I like her I might stick around; if I don't I won't." Simple. Telling a man you are madly in love with him before he's had the chance to process his thoughts can put you in the "not interested" bracket.
2. You have a list of demands.
My man must earn six figures, be tall dark, and handsome, live in a metropolitan area, drive a BMW, and like hiking, biking, and having fun. He must get on well with my parents. He must want kids, and I want him to propose within two years of meeting him. He cannot be divorced or have kids. He must know how to take care of me and what I want.
Having standards is great. Having an impossible list is not. A lengthy demand list will leave your man feeling miserable, less than, and never enough. Be aware that your demand list could be what's keeping you single.
3. You think you can change him.
You found a great guy, but he's not exactly what you want. He treats you well but doesn’t overly excite you in the bedroom and his fashion sense is a little off. But that's okay — you can fix all of that. Little by little, you start working on improving him, taking him shopping for new clothes, picking the right restaurants for your dates, and eventually dictating every single aspect of your relationship. Your man is jumping at your every command, afraid of messing up as your faithful servant.
4. You send obsessive texts.
Great first date. Great second date. You like him, and you feel you both hit it off. He's a good person, but now he's started to get inconsistent and you feel him pulling away. You don’t understand why he hasn't contacted you. So you text him. No reply. You call him. No reply. You just want an explanation so you attend his soccer match to get some answers. He ignores you.
Now you send the text that scares him off for good: "Where are you? What did I do wrong? I thought we had something. Why didn't you call me? Can we meet just once and work it out?" He's not interested. Move on.
5. You think about him all the time.
He's on your mind morning, noon, and night. You've told everyone that you think you have met "the one." You get really excited when he texts or calls. In fact, you're only happy when you hear from him. Your obsession turns into insecurity, and you start to question how much he likes you if he likes you at all. You constantly wonder about his whereabouts and who he's with. And you start questioning everything he says and does.
6. Other people have told him how much you're into him.
You have no idea where your new relationship is going, but you're telling everyone how in love you are. He has heard this through the grapevine from many sources. His friends are starting to rag him, and his embarrassment at the unnecessary attention has turned to anger. Now he just wants to get rid of you because you have caused him so much humiliation.
7. You fall apart in front of him constantly.
Men aren't stupid, and neither are women. We both know when you like us. Some signs are obvious: You fall apart in front of us. You say dumb things that make us cringe. You laugh loudly at our jokes. The fact that you can't keep it together in front of him makes him want to run away. Your awkwardness is unattractive. It makes you look needy and desperate, not cute.
8. You chase him when he pulls away.
If there is ever an opportunity to look desperate, it's chasing a man. Men hate it. It's aggressive behavior. Men are attracted to the kind, fun energy of a woman. Guys don't feel like they have won the grand prize if the prize just appears without any effort or investment on their part. Men end up leaving when you chase.
Lorna Poole is an international coach and professional speaker. She empowers women to love beyond fear, pain, and regret to attract the partner they truly deserve.