Think With Your Head, Not Your Vagina
Which body part falls in love first?
I admit it. Before I married my husband, a.k.a. "the hubs," I notoriously fell for wildly inappropriate men based on wildly inappropriate reasons ... which explains why I pendulum dated throughout my late teens, 20s and into my early 30s, vacillating from one extreme to the next. From the *sshole bodybuilder to the nerdy Star Wars fanatic to the pothead with money problems to the boy toy with the cool car to the kinky magician who couldn't commit to ... you get the picture.
Yes, we choose who we give our hearts to, but here's the thing: I wasn't choosing with my head. I wasn't even choosing with my heart. I was choosing with my vagina.
My ex was tall, lanky, sexy and funny. One of those life-of-the-party types I'd always wanted to date in college but never did. Never mind that I was 30 and ready to settle down while he was 25 and acting like a frat rat. The sex was great. But outside the bedroom? Train wreck city.
We dated and broke up so many times I lost count. Again, he wasn't the first guy I'd jumped into a relationship with who was wildly inappropriate. He also wasn't the first man I'd decided to commit to with the wrong body part. My vajayjay was notorious for picking men who rocked my world but rendered my world rocky.
If you're letting your vagina lead you into relationships, 99 percent of the time you will be disappointed. After the hot and heavy sex haze wears off, you'll wake up, put on your clothes and realize you let your nether regions make an important decision it was never equipped to make. Same goes for your heart.
Your heart leads you to rescue abandoned puppies. It also makes you eat cookies when you're feeling emotional. It also tells you that the lovable loser giving you those puppy dog eyes will make a great husband. Game over. Keep reading ...
More love advice from YourTango:
- 5 Ways To Stop Complaining And Appreciate The Life You Have
- 10 Unmistakable Ways To Tell If A Man Is Completely In Love With You
- 120 Cute & Creative Ways To Say 'I Love You'
Your heart is great at loving. It's not to great at choosing who to love. Now your head, on the other hand ... Your head knows what's best for you. Your head's most likely screwed on straight.
Your head is aligned with your goals, life vision, wants, needs, and relationship requirements. Your head can make an excellent judge of the men you date and wisely choose the right partner for relationship success. Once I got my head together and broke up with my addiction to bad love, my head led me to my husband.
I'll be honest. Had my vagina been making the decisions, I would have overlooked this short, cute, nice guy. What a shame that would have been. Had my heart been in charge, I might have mistaken the lack of emotional turmoil as a sign there wasn't any chemistry.
Again, a low down dirty shame! But because my head was clear about how I wanted love to look and feel, and I'd ditched my beliefs that I was too old, fat, screwed up to find love, when I met the hubs, I allowed my head to give my heart — and eventually my vajayjay — the green light.