The ABCs Of Reuniting With Your Ex

After a
relationship ends, it's all too easy to second-guess the decision to split up.
And while reconsidering doesn't necessarily mean you should reunite, what
happens if you and your ex DO decide you'd like to give the relationship
another go? Maybe the time away from one another has shown you the error of
your ways. Perhaps you've each had time to assess what went wrong and are now
committed to a fresh start. However, before you rush into reuniting, think
about these important factors:

1. Make sure you’re reuniting for
the right reasons

Before you
and your ex give Your Relationship, Part Two the green light, you’ll want to
double check your intentions. Are you interested in getting back together
because you love, respect, and genuinely want to make the relationship work, or
are you simply lonely, confused, scared, or, worse, you just don't like the
dating prospects you've met so far as a savvy single? Worse still, have you
discovered that your ex is moving on before you are and instead of letting them
go, you now want to hold on for dear life? Before you make a hasty decision the
two of you could live to regret, it's essential that you both identify your
reasons for reuniting. Do NOT reunite out of fear, scarcity, or loneliness.
Those are natural reactions to a breakup. They are NOT signs you should get
back together with your ex, nor are they signs that your ex was The One. Both
of you need to believe that the relationship is worth salvaging and that you
can make it work. Then – and only then – should you resuscitate your
relationship.

2. Understand the odds against you

After the
breakup, you may have put your ex on a pedestal, remembering the relationship
through rose colored glasses. If you've got reuniting on your mind, you should
know that the odds are stacked against you. After all, your relationship
probably ended for a good reason. Reuniting won't automatically fix what was
wrong in the first place. The reality is, there were issues, problems, and
traits your ex possessed that probably drove you nuts. Right about now, you may
be in denial about that. But rest assured, once you reunite, those
frustrations, annoyances, and/or challenges will come rushing back. And unless
you and your ex find new approaches to dealing with old habits and patterns,
you could easily end up exactly where you left off -- at each other's throats
and ultimately broken up. Having said that, just because the odds aren't in
your favor does not mean you shouldn't give the relationship another chance.
You just need to be aware of the challenges involved -- and the odds of success
-- in reviving a once-dead relationship.

3. Be willing to leave the past
behind

Regardless
of why you broke up in the past, if you and your ex intend to reunite, you've
both got to be willing to leave the past behind. That doesn't necessarily mean
forgetting the past, but forgiving is essential. Otherwise, you're doomed to
relationship failure. If somebody cheated, lied, and/or betrayed the other one
in any way, both partners have to be willing to forgive and make a fresh start.
It's the only way to make your second chance successful. Before you give the
relationship another go, you need to have an honest and open conversation about
whether or not the two of you can forgive one another. It may not be a fun
conversation, but it's an essential one to your future relationship success.

4. It
takes two to tango (and make it work)

If you’ve
assessed the reasons why you want to reunite, have weighed the odds against
you, and still want to get back together, you need to make sure your ex is on
the same page. This may be a difficult discussion to broach, but it's a
necessary one if you want to have a future together. After all, it takes two to
tango, and both partners have to be equally committed to the dance. You won't
know until you sit down and have that honest and open conversation. You may not
like the outcome, as the two of you may not see eye to eye about your future
together. But it's better to address the issues now and go your separate ways,
than reunite and get your heart broken all over again.

Reviving a
relationship with your ex can be tricky, but it's not impossible. You both need
to be equally committed, willing to forgive, and able to reconnect from a place
of love and respect. While the odds may seem stacked against you, if you give
it your best efforts, you may enjoy a healthier and happier relationship the
second time around.

Ready to
get over your ex once and for all? Pick up copies of my books It's A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change
your life - for good! and It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown Workbook: A 21-Day Action Plan
to Plot Your Revenge, Spoil Yourself, and Find Out How Good Your Life Is
Without Him

Got
a question about reuniting with your ex? Email ask@lisasteadman.com.