What Kristen Stewart & Monica Lewinsky Have In Common

Let me start by saying that I am a democrat. I have a picture of Bill Clinton in my office with his arm around my oldest son, who is beaming from ear to ear. I've actually had a real-life (albeit brief) joking conversation with former president Clinton about him needing someone to keep him out of trouble. As you might imagine, that was post-Monica Lewinsky.

Now, rumors are swirling that Monica Lewinsky plans to pen a tell-all book about her affair with the former President, and despite the fact that the book is not confirmed, the hosts of the daytime talkshow The View decided to tear into Monica Lewinsky. They ripped her apartcalling her an opportunist homewrecker who is capitalizing on the current political climate to make money and harm the Clintons.

Not all of the women on the stage jumped on board with this, but almost all of them did, and I felt absolutely disgusted. Overcoming Infidelity: 6 Tips To Make It Work

Sure, Monica Lewinsky had an affair with a married man. I wish she hadn't but she did and it was very wrong. However, before we start crucifying her again, we might want to remember that she was barely 20 years old with the opportunity of a lifetime, working in the White House. She was seduced by the most powerful man in the world who had a reputation for a wandering eye.

She was turned into a political pawn, and her life was turned upside down. He was more than two decades her senior. In the decade-plus that has followed, Monica Lewinsky continues to be the butt of blue dress jokes while Bill Clinton has kept his job and his wife, dusted himself off and has been more or less unscathed. 

Sure, Monica Lewinsky was legally an adult, but it's not hard to make a case that she was a victim. Yes, she may write a book for financial gain, however, she's virtually unemployable to this day. I was shocked to hear the women on The View talking about Monica Lewinsky as though she was some high-priced hooker looking to make a buck. It was classic "slut shaming" and I would think women should know better.  

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I recently had a conversation with my 86 year-old mother about Kristen Stewart. I don't remember why it came up, but my mother who had probably never even heard of Twilight knew for sure Kristen Stewart was the homewrecker who had an affair with "that married man."  What she didn't know was who that married man was, because his name has been largely left out of the news coverage.

Note: My mother doesn't read gossip rags, or watch it online. She heard Kristen Stewart had an affair with a married man on the news! ... but it was not newsworthy that this man with a wife and children saw it fit to put everything on the line, despite his vows to his wife, for a fling. His name is Rupert Sanders, by the way. 5 Female Friendship Lessons I Learned From 'Bachelorette'

Kristen Stewart, who has tried very hard to steer clear of the Hollywood hubbub, despite her megastar status, instantly became the center of a slut shaming controversy. Some might say it was because of that megastar status. 

I would say it's because she's a woman and this is why slut shaming should matter to all of us. Slut shaming is a damaging and glaring double standard of acceptable behavior. It's not acceptable for a married man to cheat, but it's somewhat expected and it's certainly not newsworthy.

But women are vilified and left with the proverbial scarlet letter on their lives when they have indiscretions with a married man, even when they are not the ones who are married themselves. All the while, in most cases the men, much like Bill Clinton, go on making jokes about it with very few long-term consequences. Our 5 Favorite Same-Sex Celebrity Couples

I once wrote an article about meeting my ex-husband's mistress.  In that article, I made a plea to all women to treat each other with more respect than to knowingly shag a married man.  However, on the other side of that is this, slut shaming is harmful to all women because double standards are harmful to all women.

Women should treat each other better than that. Period. Women will be treated better in society when they start treating each other better in society.

Lisa Hayes is a Relationship Coach and Author of How to Escape from Relationship Hell and the Passion Plan. She is also co-founder of Good Vibe Coaching Academy, specializing in LOA Coach training. To get Lisa's FREE Audio, "How to Talk to a Man" Click here.