14 'Old-Fashioned' Habits Of The Most Emotionally Intimate Couples
How to make sure the romance never ends.
Wavebreakmedia | Canva You may have heard that marriages eventually — and inevitably — become flat and boring. That, with time, it's normal for the passion and intimacy in marriage to fade and for husbands and wives to stop doing romantic things together as a couple.
Unfortunately, far too many married couples believe this myth and act accordingly. That is, they expect it to happen.
The secret is infusing your life with more fun and pleasure by planning romantic things to do as a couple regularly. If you notice that intimacy is lacking in your marriage — or you simply want to give it a boost — there are myriad ways to bring a more romantic spirit into your relationship.
Taking time to honor the intimacy component of your partnership can become habit-forming, which is why regularly planning romantic things to do as a couple can help you keep the romance alive, no matter how long you've been together.
Here are 14 'old-fashioned' habits of the most emotionally intimate couples:
1. Go out on a date
Date nights aren’t just for young lovers; they work magic for those of you who have been together for a while because going away from home provides a change of scenery and enlivens things for both partners.
According to research, couples who went on date nights reported feeling closer to their partners.
2. Stay inside together
Planning a date night at home can be fun, too. You can have a romantic dinner by candlelight. Consider making date night a regular feature of your relationship.
3. Spend a weekend together
Dates don’t have to be limited to a few hours together on an occasional evening. They can be an entire day, a weekend, or even longer, depending on the agreement you and your partner make with each other.
4. Take a honeymoon
Honeymoons (without the kids, of course) aren’t just for the newly married. Taking one every year is not too much. There are lots of people (including us) who have made a tradition of this practice.
5. Designate “sacred time”
Create a tech-free zone that will assure you that there will be no interruptions. Then, enjoy. It seems like we always have to have our phones on us, but we should go tech-free more often. Putting the phone down more can lead to closer relationships and increased focus and productivity, according to research.
6. Do "money-free" dates
Some delightful ways of spending an evening together don't cost anything. Going into the tub with each other, with candlelight, of course, followed by more candlelight in the bedroom, is always a sure way to enhance the spirit of romance.
7. Take turns being in service to each other
You can bathe each other and wash each other's hair. You could shave his face and he could shave your legs (or vice versa — just kidding!)
8. Give them massages
Massages are another great way to keep romance alive. You don’t need a massage table or fancy scented massage oils — just take the cooking oil down from the kitchen shelf and lay down a towel on the bed or floor.
And you don't have to be a professionally trained masseuse or masseur to bring a loving touch.
9. Agree beforehand to feed each other every forkful of an entire meal
Several couples have done this in restaurants, often to the surprise of other diners. Sit across the corner of the table so you can be close to each other.
Feeding each other slows down the rate at which you eat. This is also a good way to lose weight, since generally, the slower you eat, the less you eat.
10. Spend time being connected through your eyes only
This means without the need to exchange words. While this may seem a bit awkward at first, after a few minutes you’ll begin to settle into the experience and you may begin to experience some surprisingly delightful feelings.
Pexels / W O L F Λ R T
11. Listen to music together
You might even want to dance. If you’d prefer privacy, try dancing with your partner in your own living room or bedroom.
Another big advantage of dancing in your own home is that you can take your clothes off. You’ll know for sure that you're not roommates or business partners when you’re dancing nude!
12. Recite poetry
Reading love poems to each other brings sweetness. If you enjoy the exotic, consider poetry from Rumi, Hafiz, or Kabir.
13. Leave tokens of affection
Leave love notes stuck in books, under plates, pillows, and in the underwear drawer. They're sure to draw smiles of appreciation.
14. Speak from the heart
Last, but not least, is the way lovers talk the romantic talk. It needs to be sincere, intimate, and full of feeling from the heart.
These emotional interchanges are the main meal. Intimacy is the dessert ... and it’s non-fattening.
Taking time out of your busy life to make sure the intimate aspects of your relationship are thriving is important for both the partnership and your life as a whole. Trying something new together can promote thrills and excitement if you're mindful of how you approach change.
You can rest assured that the lovers' aspect of your relationship is thriving when you’re enjoying the art of bringing pleasure to each other. And you receive the added benefit of all those health-enhancing hormones running through your body that promote happiness and well-being.
Linda Bloom, LCSW, and Charlie Bloom, MSW, are psychotherapists and relationship counselors who have worked with individuals, couples, groups, and organizations since 1975.