Men Are Wildly Attracted To Women With These 11 Values
How to be the woman men are always attracted to.
Rido, GizemBDR | Canva For many single women, it sometimes feels as though everyone around them is either getting married or already involved in loving relationships, while they're still sitting around trying to figure out how to get a guy to like them so they can finally find a boyfriend, stop the dating grind, fall in love, and find some happiness yourself. And ultimately, this can leave you feeling lonely. You might even feel like you're the only woman you know who feels this way. But you're far from alone. According to the Pew Research Center, nearly half of the population in the United States is currently single and unmarried, which means many strong, amazing single women like you are looking for love, too.
Instead of focusing so hard on how to get a guy to like you, focus on finding what happiness means for you. Use this time to explore what you like and what you don’t like. How do you treat yourself? What types of things do you say to yourself? Unfortunately, many single women are hard on themselves. They tell themselves things like, "All the good ones are taken," or that there must be something wrong with them if they're still single.
This negative self-talk has negative effects on the way you feel about yourself, and if it goes on too long, it can lead to anxiety and depression, as well as cause you to mistrust yourself and your ability to make good decisions. That's why it's important to put your happiness first ... and in doing so, you just might learn how to get the kind of guy you want to like.
Men are wildly attracted to women with these 11 values:
1. They don't criticize themselves
Criticizing yourself is one of the easiest things to do. When you're single, everyone may be happy and in love, but in reality, this is not true. You start comparing yourself to others, which never ends well. Stop criticizing yourself today and, instead, start complimenting yourself. Write down three good qualities about yourself, now. Doing this builds confidence and many men are attracted to confident women.
2. They embrace their freedom
Enjoy your life. Being single doesn't mean you are flawed. There are many experiences in life you probably won't have if you were already married. Don’t get me wrong, marriage is a wonderful thing with the right person, but don’t sit around feeling miserable. If there is a vacation you want to go on, then go. Plan a party and invite all of your single friends. Who knows? Maybe you'll meet someone special along the way.
3. They allow themselves to make mistakes
When you're dating, you want things to go perfectly. But, in reality, there is no perfect dating scenario. You are on your way to pick up your date, and there is unexpected traffic due to an accident. Your best friend keeps texting you while you are out on a date. And, the list goes on. What this means is accepting the process of dating, which will include making mistakes. When you admit or talk about your mistakes, you make your partner feel more comfortable with you so they won't feel like they have to be perfect.
4. They are positive
Nobody likes a Negative Nelly, so don’t be one. As long as you are looking in the right direction, you are bound to meet that special someone. Negative people attract negative people. You want to draw people into your life who are happy and this starts with you being happy. In the process, your happiness will attract a guy who wants to be on the receiving end of your bright and positive attitude.
5. They do things alone
This may sound obvious. But, many single people fear doing things alone, even simply going to the grocery store because they're worried about what others are thinking. Most of the time, people don’t even notice that you are alone. Make it an adventure. Where have you been wanting to go? Go there, alone. Talk to strangers and enjoy the day.
6. They avoid unhealthy relationships
A bad relationship is worse than no relationship at all. Yet, sadly, many couples destroy their lives by staying in unhealthy relationships. Maybe, they married young or got married before they were ready for the commitment. Now, the relationship is all wrong for them and they feel stuck, which feels very lonely. So, if you are looking for a relationship because you feel lonely, this is not the cure.
7. They foster other relationships
Romantic relationships can come and go, which is why it's important to nurture your relationships with family and friends. So invite them over for dinner or see if they want to get tickets to a concert. No matter how you spend quality time with them, give them your undivided attention. And who knows, maybe they know someone who's the perfect match for you!
8. They know how to feel
It’s easy to keep your feelings buried inside yourself, but if you do, over time a wall of resentment builds. When you don’t talk about your feelings, you tend to stay stuck, which keeps you closed off from building a genuine connection with new men you meet. If you are sad, angry, or disappointed, then let it out. Just don’t hurt anyone else in the process. And be sure to express your feelings of happiness, as well. When you radiate a bright and positive energy, you attract more people to your life.
9. They let go of the past
You will never enjoy the present unless you let go of the past. Yes, you have made mistakes, but so has everyone else. You wouldn't be human if you didn't. It’s time to start looking for new experiences and adventures. When you let go of the past, you free yourself of baggage that may keep you from pursuing a new relationship.
10. They spend time getting to know themselves
Be self-aware and take this time being single to figure out what you want. What are your dreams? What has caused setbacks in your life? What things do you worry about? Are you always the planner? Does this help you have control of the situation? If that’s the case, work on why you are that way. Did you learn it as a child? Whatever the reasons, try and figure out why you do the things you do and how you can change them to be a better person.
11. They live their lives in balance
It’s true that when you are taking better care of yourself, it’s easier to set boundaries with others. Maybe a mistake you made in past relationships was saying "yes" when you meant "no." This is much less likely to happen when you feel you have balance in your life. It also means you'll feel more confident about yourself, which will help you meet new men.
But being single doesn't mean you have to be in a rush to find a new boyfriend. Take your time when it comes to meeting your next partner and spend energy getting to know one another, before making any big decisions, like moving in together or getting married. Once you find happiness being single, you'll be ready for a brand new relationship that will hopefully last you a lifetime.
Lianne Avila is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a practice in San Mateo, CA. Her work has been featured in Psych Central, BRIDES, and Prevention.