Psychology Says If You Can Master These 7 Skills, You'll Remain Relaxed Into Your 80s
The art of slowing down and remaining relaxed into old age.
Danie Franco | Unsplash Are you tired of feeling stressed out? It seems like there is always something going on. It starts with getting the kids ready in the morning, and then traffic on the freeway. Next thing you know, you are at work. The day is filled with meetings, reports, and phone calls. Before you know it, the day is over. Where did the time go?
Then, you are left feeling like time is passing you by and that you are missing out. If you feel this way, you aren’t alone. More and more people are reporting an increase in stress. It’s nothing new. The good news is that you can take back your life and finally get the stress relief you so desperately need by mastering a few skills that will keep you relaxed into your 80s.
Psychology says if you can master these skills, you'll remain relaxed into your 80s:
1. Unplug
We live in an electronic age, and we always want to be plugged in, fearful we may miss out on the latest gossip. This means that your brain is never unplugged.
We need to give our brains a break. The next time you take a break at work, leave your phone behind. You actually won’t be missing out, and you’ll be surprised at how much more effective you’ll be at the office.
Do not take any electronic gadgets with you to bed. The work will always be there the next day, and you need your rest.
2. Practice gratitude
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Want what you already have. It’s easy to get caught up in wanting more. We are being pushed more now than ever. If you work in sales, it’s sell more. Even if you work in a helping profession, you are often told to see more people.
Try not to take your work home with you. Write a list of 25 things you are grateful for today. Start with a roof over your head and a warm bed to sleep in. Practicing gratitude can significantly improve mental well-being by reducing stress and depression symptoms, increasing happiness, enhancing social relationships, and fostering a more positive outlook on life.
2023 research suggested keeping a gratitude journal to actively practice gratitude, demonstrating its positive effects on mood and overall life satisfaction.
3. Spend time with positive people
Make it a goal to have more positive people in your life. Nobody likes to admit it, but the people around you can bring you down. Choose your battles. You don’t have to always be right.
Spend time doing things you enjoy. You are more likely to meet people you have things in common with, that way.
4. Don’t overthink a situation
We’ve all done it. This is when you take a perfectly good situation and make it a bad situation. The next time someone gives you a compliment, say "thank you." Do not question why they said what they said.
Not overthinking can lead to significant benefits, including reduced stress and anxiety, improved mood, better decision-making, enhanced creativity, increased present-moment awareness, and improved overall well-being. A 2013 review explained that mindfulness practices, which involve focusing on the present moment without judgment, can help individuals become more aware of their thoughts and emotions, reducing the tendency to overthink.
5. Play, play, and then play some more
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. It's true. We live in a workaholic culture. The more you work, the more recognition you get. This can be good in the beginning. But if it goes on for too long, it can lead to burnout.
Make sure you schedule play on your calendar. What makes you laugh? Where are your favorite hang-out spots? Invite a friend the next time you go out to play.
6. Say less and breathe more
The next time you feel anxious or angry, stop and take a deep breath. This will help shift your focus and lower your heart rate. Set aside five minutes in the morning to close your are and do some deep breathing. This will help with stress relief in your life.
You can always increase the time in five-minute increments. It may sound like a lot, but in the big scheme of things, it’s not a lot of time.
According to a 2016 study, speaking less can have several benefits, including fostering better listening skills, building stronger relationships, appearing more thoughtful and powerful, and reducing the risk of miscommunication by allowing for more considered responses and prioritizing quality over quantity in communication. In certain situations, speaking less can be interpreted as a sign of authority, as it conveys a sense of control and composure.
7. Take responsibility for your reaction
Be aware of what makes you feel stressed out or who makes you feel stressed out. It’s alright to stay away from stressful situations or people, if possible. It’s easy to feel defensive or angry when things don’t go your way or people don’t do what you want.
Remember, this is your perception and doesn’t give you the right to attack back. Learn to take responsibility for your behavior. As you change, the people around you will change.
Stress doesn’t have to ruin your life or your health. What unnecessary stress do you have in your life? How do you plan to let go of it?
Remember, small steps do lead to big steps. Start today by letting go of one unnecessary stressor in your life. Then, replace it with one positive habit, like going for a bath or taking a bubble bath.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is dedicated to helping couples and has completed Levels 1, 2, and 3 at The Gottman Institute.