Why Being A Highly Sensitive Person Makes You Feel So Lonely (And What To Do About It)
The answer is simple and complex at the same time.
unsplash / Patrik László One of the biggest complaints that I hear from a highly sensitive person or intuitive and heart-centered individual is the feeling of loneliness, isolation, or that no one really understands them.
If you are an HSP, you might have admitted to yourself or told someone, "I'm lonely." And, now, you want to know how to deal with loneliness.
We have been trained over time — and based on our experiences — to hide our true selves. We have a deep-seated fear that we won’t be understood and don’t want to be rejected our ostracized for being different.
This fear comes as no surprise because it is a basic human need to belong or to feel a sense of belonging.
Dealing with loneliness is not a pleasant experience.
Humans are social creatures and can’t live in an isolated bubble. HSPs and lonely people have the same needs. This need is so deep that solitary confinement or isolation is used as a form of punishment.
So, how can highly sensitive people who are feeling alone form a connection with those around them?
The answer is simple and complex at the same time: share your authentic self and your heart.
When you are authentic, not everyone will like you. In fact, some will even dislike you, but the gift is that those that like you will truly connect with the real you.
The key is that you don’t have to be authentic and wear your heart on your sleeve all the time, because that may be asking for trouble. Use your intuition as a guide to who you can share your true self and connect.
You may not always be right but even if you make some mistakes, the effort will be worth it. You will not only feel more connected to others but also to yourself.
Why is it beneficial to feel connected? When we disconnect from others and ourselves it is out of fear. We fear being rejected and don’t want to feel the pain.
When you disconnect from the hard experiences, you are also disconnecting from the great experiences that life has to offer. You are missing out on feeling everything.
As a heart-centered person, that is a sad loss for you and those around you.
To battle loneliness and connect authentically with others, there are 3 steps you need to take.
1. Connect with a friend one-on-one
Choose someone that you feel like you want to get to know better. Text, e-mail, or call them to set up a time to meet.
Choose coffee/tea, a walk, or lunch. Before you meet them, set the intention to ask about something specific in their lives, they will most likely ask you about your life.
Be ready to share something authentic. When you are done, check in on how you feel.
2. Express your opinion
The next time that you are in a situation that a topic is being discussed that you care about, express your opinion. The people-pleasing side of you may not want to or maybe even be afraid to speak your truth, resist that and speak your truth.
Express your opinion using your empathetic strength to guide you on how to do so in a kind and authentic way. Again, check in on how you feel afterward.
3. Set intentions
Before you are in a social situation, set the intention to connect with someone. When you enter with that goal/intention/energy you will be open to connecting. Take a few moments and set the intention, then see how the social event is better.
If you are feeling lonely, know that it doesn’t have to be that way. You can learn how to deal with loneliness with these strategies so you can re-connect with others and yourself.
Being authentic allows true connection and the rewards are worth the risk.
Kavita Melwani a certified empowerment coach, hypnotherapist, past life Regressionist, certified money marketing and soul coach, and a Reiki Master. To schedule a clarity session, visit her website.