When Men Talk Too Much About Themselves On Dates

Men have been rewarded for their performance since the beginning of time. The best performers got the hottest cave-babes, they got the optimal cave real estate and the most respect and recognition from their fellow cavemen.

All they had to do was be the fastest, bravest, strongest and most skilled. The fact that most of them died in the process of being the best was not as important as winning all this great stuff  — the rewards were worth it.

We haven't evolved all that much, biologically, since those days. Women still respond favorably to those types of men, which helps to perpetuate men's drive to be that way. (They're still seeking the hottest cave-babes, after all ... )

Your dates are doing nothing more than showing you they're worthy of your approval. If they could, they'd drag out their latest "kill" to show you their hunting prowess (but most restaurants don't let you bring in bloody carcasses).

So, instead, they talk about their "hunting prowess." In fact, some of them can go on and on and on …

Work with, not against ... 

If you can learn to see what these men are doing as simply great energy to work with and something that would be in your favor — if you were to choose to be with one of them, you could relax and let the experience be more satisfying for you.

If you feel annoyed or judgmental when a man "shows off," he'll just work that much harder doing what he's doing, either because he feels he hasn't proved it to you well enough yet or because he's reacting to you and digging in his heels. Keep reading ...

More dating advice from YourTango:

• What Is Mobile Dating? Should I Try It?
• The Secret To Successful Online Dating
• Ladies, You Need To Watch Out For These Online Dating Red Flags

Here's my recipe for this situation, the next time it's hard to get a word in edgewise with a date or his showing off is bugging you:

•  Find all the things you like, appreciate and/or admire about him and keep your focus on those things (it will make your date easier!).
• Instead of feeling annoyed or resentful (if he's monopolizing the conversation), engage in the conversation and make sure you're adding to it, rather than just passively receiving.
• Fight the "desirable women are a good audience" message if it's not working for you … after all, it's not his fault you bring that to the table.
• Make sure you share things about yourself with him, so he feels you're interested — don't just sit there as the judge of whether or not he's going to "get it right.
• If you're out with a man who really does insist on doing all the talking, practice the very important skill of choosing the best perception of why he's doing/being that — tell yourself something that inspires your best self (and dating is ultimately all about learning how to be your best self), even if you know you'd turn down an invitation to another date.

These are challenging times these days for anyone in the dating world, with both men and women trying to figure out the latest "right" ways to be. When you practice being  generous of spirit, even with men you'd never date again in a million years, both of you receive a gift. He's just like you in a very basic way: he's simply seeking love and acceptance.