How To Give A PERFECT Blowjob (Even If You Hate Doing It)

Most men love oral sex. This isn't news. Most like to give and pretty much all like to receive. For many, having a woman perform fellatio on them is their favorite thing.

I've interviewed tons of men so I could gather accurate information for my workshops. The thing that seems most important is enthusiasm. No teeth comes second, and technique third. Even when I asked gay men (I figured they'd be able to better tell me) they also said "enthusiasm." Imagine how it would be to have someone down there knowing they weren't genuinely passionate about the deed. 

Some women just can’t bring themselves to do it, some do it begrudgingly, while others enjoy it but don’t want him to ejaculate in her mouth, or swallow. I’ve spoken to many women who don’t want to do it because they’re insecure about what to do and how well they do it.

When a woman's performing fellatio on a man, if she’s self-conscious, she’ll feel as if she’s on stage. There’s nothing else going on but what she’s doing to him. Plus, she knows how much men like it, so that adds pressure of fearing that she’s not doing it "right." So, for them, it’s easier to avoid it altogether.

When a man receives a blowjob he’s generally extremely grateful. If a woman swallows his semen, he looks at it as a huge honor. Don’t ask me why because no man could really explain it. If you can learn to truly enjoy the whole process, you’ll have an unbelievably happy man on your hands. Remember number one: enthusiasm.

For women who want to learn how to give the best blowjob, here are some pointers.

1. Be sure you’re comfortable.

The best way that his penis fits into your mouth is if you sit between his legs and lean over him. This also allows him a good view. Most men find watching adds a lot of pleasure to what you’re doing. It’s not about whether you’re doing it right, he just likes the visual stimulation.

2. Show that you enjoy what you're doing.

No matter what you’re doing, except grimacing, he’s going to love watching you. If you can show that you’re really enjoying pleasuring him, he’ll be even more excited. So let him know you’re enjoying it as much as he is. Make noises, look at him with passionate eyes, and treat his penis as if it’s the most important thing in the world. To him, at this moment, it is.

3. Tease him.

There’s more to a man’s sexuality than his penis, however. Before even touching his penis, tease him by tickling with light feather strokes and kissing his chest, his belly, his hips, his inner thighs, moving closer but not yet touching him. When you get there, barely brush across his penis as if by accident as you kiss and stroke all around it. If you have long hair, drag it across him. Now kiss or lick his penis lightly, then move away.

If his penis isn’t hard yet, hold it gently in your hand and put your mouth completely around it, all the way to the base.

4. Use your tongue.

Swirl your tongue around it (especially the head). Then, pull it slowly out of your mouth, as you suck on it. Do this a few times. The sensation for him is generally enough to get him hard right away. (Try not to let it pop out of your mouth because the noise your mouth makes could cause him to lose his arousal, or for both of you to laugh. Not good for the mood of the moment.)

5. Incorporate your hands.

Now that he’s hard, do a variety of things, mixing them up, surprising him with new thrills. Use your hand to hold him up most of the time, so your mouth doesn’t get tired. When you do find your jaw getting tired, take him out of your mouth, kiss and swirl your tongue around the tip, lick up and down the outside of his shaft, especially that ridge on the back, lick his testicles, his scrotum. Make it pleasurable for you both.

6. Focus on the moment, not the end game.

Don’t forget that you’re making love to his penis and let go of the goal that you’re just trying to get him to orgasm. This is about savoring the experience, for each of you.

7. Take him deep inside your mouth.

Put him deep into your mouth once in awhile, but not all the time. The shaft is not as sensitive as the head. Move up and down, varying the speed, rhythm, and depth. If you use slightly more pressure around his shaft as you’re pulling away from him, it feels good because it follows the natural flow of semen and pulls the blood more into his shaft, which is what makes him hard and feels really good.

8. Make eye contact.

Look at him once in a while. That can really turn him on. Men like to watch and it’s exciting to let him know you like him watching too. Swirl your tongue around the head of his penis, the most sensitive part. Kiss it. Go back to moving in and out. Keep varying what you’re doing, but don’t jump from one thing to another too quickly either–just long enough to where you leave him wanting more.

9. Tease his testicles.

With your other hand, occasionally drag your fingertips lightly across his belly, his thighs, and his testicles. Sometimes hold his testicles firmly, as you might to test the ripeness of a peach. You don’t want to hurt him, but if the pressure is firm (not hard), and even, it can feel very good to him.

Touch his scrotum, just behind his testicles, brush softly, then press with very slight pressure, being careful not to hurt him. There’s a spot about half an inch from his anus towards his scrotum that’s especially sensitive.

10. Use multiple motions.

Touch that with mild pressure and soft strokes. Put your hand around his shaft, while your mouth is around the head, and stroke him. Move your mouth up and down with your hand doing the same. Do this very slowly at times, savoring his pleasure, and then pick up the speed.

Using a firm grip, get his shaft wet with your mouth, and allow your hand to slide up and down. Try slightly less pressure as you move toward him and more as you move away. As you move upward to the tip of his penis, swirl your tongue around the head, then move down the shaft again. Each time you move toward the head, swirl your tongue. Get a good rhythm going. 

11. Let him get lost in his orgasm.

Whenever you sense he’s getting close to orgasm, focus your attention on his penis. For orgasm, generally, a man likes a more continuous rhythm, up and down on his penis, without any change in what you’re doing.

Swirl your tongue as you move up and down. Stroke his testicles. When he begins his orgasm, be especially aware of what he wants. He might hold your head and move you or slow you down. He might want to use his own hand. Allow whatever at this moment — it’s his moment and he’s lost in the pleasure that you’ve created for him. Savor it.

12. Prolong his orgasm.

To prolong his pleasure after he’s ejaculated, very gently — too much can be uncomfortable because it overstimulates — continue to pleasure him, swirling and moving ever so slowly. He may not want to have an orgasm and want to be inside of you. Or you may want him inside of you. Ask him and see what his reaction is. If he wants you to stay there, you’ll probably want to do what he’s wanting at this time, since this is about pleasuring him right now.

13. Allow him to lead.

After he’s orgasmed, you can slide him inside of you while he’s still hard, which won’t usually last very long. The main thing is to be intuitive about what he’s liking and wanting. Ask him to guide you, to tell you exactly what he likes.

If you let him know you really want to please him, he’ll be happy to oblige with specific instructions. Keep the communication sexy, not clinical. Sometimes just saying, "Tell me what you want" is enough to get his input. Each man is individual.

These are just some ideas to try when learning how to give the best blowjob. Some men may like it just one way and don’t want you to mix it up. That’s why communication is so important.

If you want to do this for him, you certainly want to do what he likes. Try new things but be willing to hear that it doesn’t work for him. Let him know you want to pleasure him. It’s the highest compliment you can give him.

Most important, be spontaneous, creative, playful, sexy and enjoy being able to give pleasure that he’ll not soon forget. Allow yourself to really get lost in the experience. Most men will be thrilled with whatever you’re doing.

For even more tips and techniques on giving your man great oral sex, watch the video below:

.......

Subscribe to Kara Oh's monthly newsletter, Men Made Easy.