10 Quiet Behaviors That Actually Mean A Man's Really Serious About You, According To Psychology
The under-the-radar signs he's very serious about you.
Hrecheniuk Oleksii | Canva No matter how you met — online, on a dating app, or through friends — there's nothing more exciting than the beginning of a relationship with a great new person. With the abundance of dating apps (and subsequent flirty messages from many attractive people), how do you know if your person is seriously into you and if you're heading toward a real relationship? One thing I know for sure is if they want you to be their lover, they will do whatever it takes to let you know.
Here are ten behaviors that mean a man is serious about you:
1. They send a daily good morning and good night text
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If your man sends you a good morning text to see when you wake up without them, chances are they're excited about you and your new relationship. Starting and ending the day with you in mind means you're the distraction that will make them smile and a sign they want you to be their person. Recent research from The American Psychological Association even confirms how much people look forward to a good morning text.
2. They call and say, "It's me"
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When your relationship starts to develop a comfortable routine, chances are they will call you and say, "Hi, it's me." Feeling comfortable in a relationship is a sign it's going well, according to 2009 research.
This is a message of verbal intimacy that your relationship is going in the right direction. It means they feel warm and fuzzy and might fall in love with you.
3. They tell their therapist about you
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Let's face it. Their shrink knows more about them than you might ever know, but if they are letting the therapist know they have got a new lover on their mind, they are thinking long-term and not about a booty call.
They are sending the message that they don't want to mess it up because you're partner material in their eyes. One recent study even found that 92% of women polled found it attractive when a man admits he's in therapy.
4. They want to introduce you to their friends
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If their weekly routine includes hanging out with their buddies on Saturday, they have probably told their friends about the date with you on Friday night. If they suggest you join them one weekend, they let you know they want you to be a part of their life, in and out of the bedroom.
After all, friendships are an important part of our lives. Having close friendships can improve your mental health, 2018 research confirms.
5. They talk about the future
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While the conversation might not include ring shopping, if they are suggesting things they want to do in the future, such as a weekend away, going with them to a concert, or even discussing relationship goals, they are a person who sees you by their side.
Talking about your values also shows he wants something serious with you. Research from The Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin confirms that shared values in a relationship can lead to higher levels of satisfaction.
6. They want to see you on Friday and Saturday nights
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When a person is dating multiple other people, they'll see one on Friday and another on Saturday to see who will eventually rank higher on the rating scale. If they want to see you multiple days in a row, including both weekend nights, it's a sign that you're probably their one-and-only.
7. They add emojis to their text messages
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When they have warm fuzzy feelings about you, your man might include a smiley face or another emoji to express their digital affection. Do them a favor and return the gesture in kind. It's digital play at its best. One 2024 study even found that people who use emojis are considered more emotionally intelligent, so win/win.
8. They're willing to take it slow
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If your man thinks long-term, they won't pressure you to rush a commitment. A person will wait as long as it takes for the right woman, as long as they get the cue you're going in the right direction. Research from the Institute for Family Studies states that couples who take it slow while dating end up in happier relationships.
9. They want to cuddle
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When your man wants to feel attractive around you, it doesn't mean they only want to have a fling. Spending the night curled up in their arms may be the perfect ingredient for a loving relationship moving forward. Cuddling can even lower your stress levels, 2023 research says.
10. They call you to say good night
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Even if you can't be in their arms, they want to hear your voice before they fall asleep at night, then they are connecting with you and bonding. If this ritual is part of their regime, they are letting you know they want you to be their person.
If your new man is doing the majority of things on this list, they are into you big time. If they're doing them all, you may have just won the love lottery and are on your way to getting a commitment.
Julie Spira is an award-winning dating coach, online dating and mobile dating expert, and internationally-known bestselling author. She has appeared on television, including Access Hollywood and VICE TV, and in print magazines like Psychology Today, The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Women's Day, and many others.