There's Only One Effective Way To Teach Your Kids About Boundaries
How to get your kids to listen to your lessons.
Vlada Karpovich | Canva Teaching kids about boundaries is important and a great way to approach this most vital subject is by being observant and aware of your kids’ current behavior.
This involves being present when observing and interacting with them, and most importantly, giving them the attention they need when they need it.
This is not always easy to do, given your day-to-day responsibilities and the many distractions that you may encounter.
Committing to be present with your kids may appear to be simplistic on the surface.
Photo: Caleb Oquendo/Pexels
But, the treasures of life are often found when you let go of the apparent complexity of a situation and "allow" the solution to emerge.
To do this, you must stay aware of what's "really" happening and let go of "assuming" what's happening.
This, in itself, will get the attention of your child, since they are probably used to being misunderstood by family, friends, and the many authority figures out there. As far as your child is concerned, all of you "just don’t get it."
Now, to develop this type of awareness requires a conscious commitment to do so. Without that commitment, it's nearly impossible to achieve because of your current conditioning.
This is a simple process that is achievable but not easy. So, make the commitment to be present with your kids and your next steps will be revealed.
What do you need to know about teaching kids about boundaries?
The answer may come as a surprise.
After several years of interacting with children both professionally as well as with family and friends, I can easily provide many tips on how to teach your kids about boundaries and limits.
But the key is not "what" you do, but "how" you do it.
That’s why being present and aware is vital while giving your kids your total attention when interacting with them.
Without that total attention, you can apply all the tips and strategies in the world related to this but not see the results that you desire.
I discovered that no tips are needed to teach kids about boundaries. And why not, you may ask? Well, hang in there for a moment and see what you can discover.
What's most amazing about this entire subject of boundaries is that kids are starving for boundaries and limits.
Of course, they would never admit that. Nonetheless, they do not respect or trust people who don't take the time to do this. They feel that they "don’t care enough."
But the kicker is they don’t want it forced down their throats. Nobody, especially kids, wants to be told what to do. That’s why applying any suggestions mechanically just doesn’t work.
It needs to come from the heart and not the head.
When a child observes a parent sincerely and naturally setting limits and boundaries with the "expectation" that they will be followed, the child is happy to comply because all of a sudden it has become "their idea," not the parents.
Quite a difference for sure.
This simple process of becoming aware and present eliminates all power struggles and "trying" to force-feed this stuff down their throats. It's a lot easier on them as well as you.
I can go on and on about this but you get the point.
Now, take the hint, and don’t worry about any specific tips for teaching your kids about boundaries. Your kids want the boundaries so allow them to have them lovingly and compassionately.
All the very best in being the parent that your child can "feel" and intuitively understand loves them with all their heart and soul.
Joseph Stasaitis is a blogger, freelance writer, and an intuitive facilitator who helps clients retire the way they want to.