If The Man You Love Has These 9 Personality Traits, Never Let Him Go
You don't want a superhero, but you do want someone you can trust.
Becca Tapert | Unsplash When you're dating and falling in love, you want to have no doubts. You don't expect him to live up to superhero standards. But, when you ask if he's the one, you want an extraordinary personality that lets you know you are safe spending your life by his side.
It is critical to know what makes a man the husband you want before you think about marriage. If you aren't sure if he is the one, there are a few personality indicators that will tell you for sure.
If the man you love has these 9 personality traits, never let him go:
1. He's well-kept.
This is a guy who stays on top of haircuts, takes a few moments to consider whether his outfits are appropriate for the occasion, and at least attempts to get the dirt out from under his nails before going out on a date. He makes an effort to look his best, especially when he's around you.
All of this may seem superficial, but it adds up to one important thing: He's not oblivious to his impact on other people. Though physical appearance isn't everything, he wants to present as well-kept as possible for you as it reflects his inner qualities as well.
2. He's refined.
He's not an egomaniac who needs to be the center of attention at all times. He’s not afraid of the spotlight, but he doesn't need it to feel significant as a man. He has no problem sharing that spotlight with you.
He can hold a meaningful, give-and-take conversation and skip all the small talk. He asks you questions about yourself and his eyes don’t glaze over the minute you start talking, rather he's genuinely interested in what you have to say.
3. He's fun and easy-going.
This is a man who doesn't take himself too seriously. He allows himself to genuinely smile and laugh frequently, especially when you're attempting to make a joke.
Along with wanting to share laughter with you, he's easy to talk to. Conversing with him is the opposite of pulling teeth. When you're in a discussion, whether it's about something serious or something more light-hearted, it seems effortless.
4. He's emotionally available.
He’s not afraid of commitment or a forever Peter Pan trying to avoid the real-life responsibilities of caring for other people besides himself. He has worked through his insecurities, fears, and inner wounds and learned to be emotionally available and committed to a potential partner.
You have no doubts about his emotional maturity. He's able to maintain a strong connection in your relationship and allows himself to be vulnerable with you.
5. He's open, honest and direct.
This guy doesn't play mind games, nor does he indulge in relationship power-play to entertain himself or feel he's in control. He knows who he is, and he doesn't need to pretend to be anything but himself.
If he likes a woman, he doesn't keep her waiting and wondering. He unabashedly asks a woman out on a date, inquires where she would like to go, makes the arrangements, and follows through with his commitment.
If he’s not interested after the date, he’s polite. If he's interested, he doesn't just sit on it and make her wonder for the fun of messing with her emotions!
6. He's respectful.
He may be wise, worldly, and highly intellectual, but he will still respect a difference of opinion. He may enjoy a good discussion, but he’s not threatened by alternative opinions, and doesn't react to competition by trying to force his opinion on you.
Instead, he wants to hear all the different perspectives to gain a deeper understanding. And never once does he cause a scene when there's a disagreement.
7. He's genuine.
If he sees you as more than a plaything, he will show it by being curious about who you are, what makes you tick, and what you're passionate about. He's genuinely interested in you and has no ulterior motive.
Don't confuse him with a "love bomber" who asks too many intrusive personal questions as a tactic to make you fall in love. He's an authentic, genuine guy who has nothing to hide about who he is.
8. He's down-to-earth.
Real men may behave in protective ways at times, but isn't due to a deep-seated insecurity and need for identity. He doesn't need to be a superhero or knight in shining armor or to have his ego stroked.
He's not uptight, doesn't need to be the center of attention, and doesn't cause unnecessary conflicts. He seems to get along with everyone he meets, especially you and is easy to talk to and practical.
9. He's authentic.
A healthy man will have a true identity and well-formed sense of self — who he is, what he stands for, and his beliefs and values. His behavior doesn't shift based on the company he's in, and his character shows stability over time.
He doesn't have to rely on the persona of the bad boy, intellectual, or tough guy to feel significant. He's secure in his masculinity and true identity.
Your guy could be the one to never let go if he has these personality traits.
He will offer you a spot under his umbrella and give you a genuine compliment. Not just to get brownie points. His personality is consistent. Whether he's with his mom or his boss, he can laugh at himself when he mispronounces a word.
When you find this man, know that you have found yourself a keeper, and make sure to thank your lucky stars.
Joanne Brothwell, BSW, MSW, RSW, ACC, is a licensed therapist and social worker with more than 20 years of clinical experience providing counseling to individuals, couples, and families.